97 and 3

A tabulation of my restaurant challenges for the year 2011 returned a figure of 100. The number came as a surprise. I didn't think it would be that high, but statstics don't lie. 97 of them were answered successfully while the remaining 3 required two tries to get it right.

So which challenges did I fail? Well, two of them were mentioned recently. There was the 36" team pizza at Big Mama and Papa's Pizzeria in Los Angeles, as well as the 5 lb Bikkuri Don Bowl at Wakasaya in Little Tokyo. The third was the 5 lb cheesesteak challenge at McGonagle's in San Diego.

Two bites in, I blocked up my throat with cheesesteak as I pushed myself to go at top speed. That was an incredibly disappointing finish. Management called a disqualification as I cleared my throat with a full plate of food. During my revenge tour I went more slowly and cautiously toward a victory.

A 97% success rate isn't perfect, but I won't complain. This count of 100 challenges does not include contests or my 20K calorie bowl, or similarly non-sanctioned challenges. The count only includes eating challenges sanctioned by restaurants in which a refund or prize was offered for finishing the food in question.

It was a big year. My most publicized challenge of the year was the 4 lb Brahma Bull sandwich at Rib Line in San Luis Obispo, CA. which was showcased on Man v Food Nation. My favorite challenge was the 120 oz steak at the Brand Steakhouse in Las Vegas, NV.

I've had several days in which I completed two challenges, and in one instance I managed to complete three. My biggest single challenge of the year was probably the 28" 2-topping pizza at Valentini Pizza in Victorville, weighing in at 12 lbs.

My most controversial challenge was the 10-12 lb Phozilla bowl at Pho 87. The restaurant refused to give me the prize jackpot after labeling me a "professional eater" and citing my appearance on Man v Food. Then, the restaurant listed my name on the website as a challenge winner and then just as mysteriously pulled it down. At least they agreed to refund my $32 for the challenge.

Well.. it's been a year. I met several new eaters (The Spicialist, Mary Bowers, Juan Rodriguez, Chris Wreckless), deepened friendships with others, debuted on Wreckless Eating and had a background role on Bones.

In a change of pace, I've created a video compiling my challenges for 2011 and forecasting a banner year ahead.

Happy New Year.

Last Hurrah of the Year

It's fitting that I report on the final two eating challenges I completed in the year 2011. Last Monday, a drive through Corona, Wildomar, and San Diego turned up some valuable information regarding future challenges and contests. 2012 looks bright.

The journey nearly came to a close when GPS guided me to Rudford's Restaurant in San Diego. This is a 24 hour eatery, largely reminiscent of old-time diners. I love these places. They offer a burger meal challenge between the hours of 9AM-9PM.



It's called the "Big Nick Burger Challenge." If you can take down 2 lbs of patties, 8 eggs, gravy, 1/2 lb fries, and a 24 oz milkshake, you score a free meal and a t-shirt. My finish came in a record 17 minutes. It wasn't a breakneck performance exactly, since I ate while helping the customers next to me with a crossword puzzle. The whole staff was outstanding, including my server Gina, who was thrilled to see someone take on and win the challenge. Their wall of shame is full.

Afterward, I wandered over to Fred's Burgers in El Cajon. They have a huge burger called the Goliath. Since I'd never done two big burgers back to back, this seemed like a good test. I'd also never done a big burger as a day's second challenge. So, two hours later, there we were.

The Goliath burger wasn't a patty tower, but rather a mammoth single patty. But, you know, it was really good! The meat was cooked very evenly throughout. The edges weren't burned, the flavor was balanced, and you could still enjoy it as a quality meal. The bun was on the thin side and had a hint of sweetness to it.



My finish time of 27 minutes was fair, I thought, with what I already had in my stomach. Not counting fluids I was around 9 lbs. It was a fun trip. I ended up driving to the Chula Vista location of Fred's to pick up my prize shirt and I collected some video there as well. The staff was equally friendly (and professional) at both locations.

So, 2011 is almost up! It's mesmerizing in some ways. I'll close the year with a final reflection about all of the challenges I've done this year.

Coming Up Short

A commenter on Eatfeats wondered if I've ever lost an eating challenge. There have been a few. In all but one case, I've managed to go back and avenge my defeat. Over time, my speed and capacity skill set have improved and that has led to stronger results.

I've never lost a heat challenge. I've never lost the second or third challenge I've attempted on the same day.



My challenges are lost when the time limit is excessively short or when I choke (literally). Rice has posed the greatest difficulty for me where speed eating is concerned. The Bikkuri Don, a 5 lb sashimi and rice bowl available at Wakasaya in Los Angeles, proved elusive for me within the 15 minutes. Last month, I conquered it in 10. That's evidence of progress.

The team 36" pizza (in the video at the top) met its end when I returned with Johnnie Excel as my partner the following month. Aaron Ybarra is an excellent speed eater, but the pizza was simply too massive for us to complete as a team. I'm also suspicious that the crust was thicker when I tried it with Aaron. 



File photo courtesy J. Excel's Facebook

To date, the sole challenge that has eluded me is the 3-foot Philly cheesesteak at Big Mike's in Hermosa Beach. My old stab at that behemoth sandwich came in November 2010. The last bite was in my mouth at the 30 minute mark but the manager refused to take it. I think I'm due for a rematch.

A future post will discuss that 3-foot sammich in detail. There's tons of photos, as well the story of a friend who completed it right after I failed and made me look like a chump. Such is life.

Hope everyone's ready for a new year!

Wreckless at Christmas

Sometimes I have a random sense of humor. This year I missed Halloween, but I won't miss Christmas. Merry Christmas to all. May 2012 shine brightly.

Today also marked my debut on Wreckless Eating, a YouTube channel hosted by Matt Zion and Chris Wreckless showcasing the consumption of the bizarre.



In my debut, I teamed with Chris Wreckless to take on an 8 lb drum of Hershey's chooclate syrup. We absoultely mauled the extreme sugar challenge in just over two minutes. It was a fun sprint down chocolate lane.

Chris Wreckless is mostly unknown to the competitive eating community, but he has had a few run-ins with restaurant challenges. He's handled the 5 lb King Ranch Burrito at La Casa Garcia in Anaheim. At the time, he aimed to break the 11:30 house record set by Damon Wells during his pre-IFOCE days. The time goal was elusive but Chris was victorious.

Photo courtesy Wreckless Eating / Matt Zion

As a guess, I'd place Chris Wreckless' capacity at 5-6 lbs. His mass consumption days sure aren't over. We have plans in motion for more future team challenges. Without a doubt, I look forward to getting "wreckless" again.

Be sure to look for the debut of their main show. They produce several segments every month. Their channel is always turning out new content. Some vile, some wild, but always entertaining.

Eat More Chicken

This is the post that's long overdue in some ways. In the year 2011, Chick Fil A at the La Habra Marketplace held three nugget eating championships. I won all of them, each time establishing a new record. I pushed the standard from 107 to 201, 205, and now 206. My strongest competition came from Frank Paulin and The Spicialist (197).

Chick Fil A's contest is unique because it follows the pattern of Japanese long-distance eating contests. Competitors get two hours to eat as many nuggets as possible. The format suits my eating ability and generally I outpaced my rivals by a wide margin.

By contrast, American-style speed eating contests are limited to 12 minutes or less. The Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Contest and most other contests in the US follow this format. Since my speed skills are not highly refined, my results in those contests aren't nearly as impressive.

Chick Fil A's nuggets have a balanced taste. They're made from white meat and the batter isn't overwhelming. All of the dipping sauces create a wealth of variety, though sooner or later you will endure flavor frustration. The texture of chicken nuggets becomes too repetitive (that's the problem with a two hour contest). I was happy they had several drinks to choose from. The sodium content is probably the most challenging element of this contest. I love chicken so this contest food is a good fit for me.

The next contest is in February 2012. If nothing else, I look forward to defending my title and possibly setting a higher record. This contest is special to me because La Habra is next door to Buena Park, a city I spent over 10 years. I graduated from Buena Park High and many of my friends still eat at this Chick Fil A and see my name on the wall. There's incentive for me to keep my name up.

To parody Tolstoy: how many nuggets does a man need? That's not really the appropriate question. Rather, it's: how many can a man hold in his stomach? I'll have the answer in February.

Video: Back in Bakersfield

This post is dedicated to Dave "US Male" Goldstein and Aaron Wakamatsu. It's good having friends who are supportive and ask lots of questions.

It's about my second stop at the Bullshed Bar and Grill in Bakersfield. My last visit was in late June, when I was heading north and conquered their burger challenge in about 32 minutes. 2.5 lbs of meat and 2.5 fries is considerable.



If I estimate the original challenge meal at 7 lbs, the new formulation had to be over 8 lbs. The management was concerned that too many people were walking away with a free meal, so they stepped up the difficulty considerably.

Instead of a patty stack with a sweet small bun, we now had a massive beef pile on an oversized dense bun. It was like eating a meatloaf sandwiched between two loaves of bread. I'd never encountered such a big bun before.

It was a fight putting down that huge bun. I needed to soak it in a ton of water because it wasn't softening like most breads. Damn you flour! Why do you hate me so? At least the vegetables were fresh and the meat was incredibly rich and well-seasoned.

And the fries... I wish they weren't part of the challenge. After the huge dose of bread, they didn't seem appealing to me. It was a hard fight getting through all the starch.

For the first time in a long time, I had a buzzer beater finish. The owner demanded that I finish every last crumb and I got in the last bite at minute 44. That will teach me to choose my breads and starch challenges well.

So there you have it, the Second Battle of Bull Shed. I don't think I'll ever be doing this challenge again. Best of luck to whoever takes on this beast challenge in the future. I'd rather ride the mechanical bull.

Going Wreckless

This is going to be a different weekend. Tomorrow, I'm meeting the guys who film the YouTube channel "Wreckless Eating" and I'll offer a small challenge segment for their program. I will be out of my element there.

For those who have never watched, WE focuses on the more sickening side of this sport. Matt Zion and Chris Wreckless sample foods that would make most of us cringe. I'm not going to ruin any of their videos for you (but the one with the balut was awesome). Needless to say, my participation will not be about mass consumption.

Tune in to Wreckless Eating to see what it's all about. It's definitely another dimension to competitive eating and they have their viewers. Let's see how I do in their realm. Maybe they'll invite me back.

Food Truck Fiasco

Last July, there was a food truck festival at my high school in Buena Park. It was a trip down memory lane of sorts. There were a few staff I recognized, and lots of ASB students trying to sell me $1 water bottles. I hadn't visited the campus since graduating in 2001. The back lot was now adorned (albeit temporarily) with food trucks.

To add to the confusion, I wore the "White Rabbit" Food Truck t-shirt I earned for conquering their 6 lb burrito challenge the month before. Everyone thought I worked for White Rabbit and wanted to know why they were late. Couldn't tell you.

I was chasing down the Chunk 'N Chip food truck. They have an ice cream cookie sandwich challenge called Tang's Tower. It becomes progressively more difficult as new challengers complete the task. When I went, the challenge stood at 6 cookies, 5 toppings, and 5 scoops of ice cream under 4 minutes. Since speed isn't my strongest suit, I thought this would be a test.

You pick your choices of ice cream and cookie flavors. I don't remember everything I selected, but I avoided any flavors with chunks or crunchy pieces. It looked pretty big when it came out. One guy came out to time me. The early going was pretty rough, but I developed a rhythm and put it away in 2:44. A NEW RECORD. I couldn't believe it when he told me my time. That was a clear victory.

Since I was still hungry, an idea crossed my mind. Would they let me attempt a second Tang's Tower, same rules, same time limit, also free if finished? The worker called his boss and they went for it. They didn't think I'd stand a chance of finishing a second Tower with one already in my stomach. I heard stories now of previous challengers vomiting halfway through their Tang's Towers.

The second Tang's Tower looked bigger than the first, but no matter. I was determined. Using the experience gained from eating the first, I powered through the second in a quicker 2:36. I broke my own record. The staff and onlooking customers were flabbergasted. Several of them believed this must be a simple challenge (since I did two in a row), and lots of people wanted their own cookie challenge. The adrenaline rush from these faster challenges is incredible.

                            

On a sugar high, I needed some regular food to regain balance. Since I was already in Orange County, I headed to Los Cabos Cantina in Lake Forest to use the remainder of a gift certificate towards a 2 lb burger combo. That caused a sensation. It wasn't on the menu, though technically you could custom order it. I finished it in about 15 minutes, though obviously it wasn't a set challenge or anything. I finished my gift card with a shrimp burrito afterward. The burger was better.

Orange County has a lot of great food options. In some ways it's probably good that I don't live there anymore.

What a Sugar Rush

"Well, what else is possible?"

One of my students wanted to know (for his journalism class) what types of challenges competitive eaters participated in. I mentioned the hot wing challenges. Then I talked about speed challenges. That didn't impress him. Then I brought up volume challenges, but he wasn't moved.

Then, I let my mind drift. We have intensely hot challenges... why don't we have intensely sweet challenges? Foods that pack an insane amount of sugar into a small volume. The concept was instantly delicious. We did a little research, and a combination of suitable foods was selected for me to try.

The idea was to have a selection of foods that wouldn't be ridiculously heavy, but whose sugar content would stop cold most people who tried it. Sweet challenges are among my favorite, so I figured this was a worthy experiment.

900 grams of sweet, sugary hell.

The best aspect of the video is all the contortions my face goes through as the sugar rush hits me. And it hit HARD. The "intensity of sweet" challenge is much harder than I thought it would be.

Everyone agreed it was profoundly ridiculous, and not even I will be attempting that again.

Grinding the Mill

The Cookie Mill is a small (but busy) restaurant in Azusa, CA. My cousin was the first to tell me about the place, having discovered from Yelp that they have an eating challenge.

But more on that later. Challenges aside, the place makes excellent cookies on site. All categories of flavor... Fresh batches are baked throughout the day and well into the night. You can get a large cookie sandwich for $3, which is just what the college student ordered. It's near a college as it turns out, so the place is consistenly packed with starving students looking for a deal.

Fittingly, their restaurant challenge is a massive ice cream cookie sandwich. It's one of the few sugar-based eating challenges available in Southern California.

As a matter of curiosity, I think it'd be interesting to see how many ordinary-sized cookie sandwiches could be eaten in 10 minutes. The big cookie is a huge novelty. The regular cookie sandwiches are more akin to what you'd encounter in a contest.

Different Takes

The Broken Yolk Cafe, in San Diego County, offers the highly inconsistent Ironman Challenge. 12-egg chili cheese omelet, home fries, and two biscuits. I've finished it four times, and each time it's come out differently. You can get more potatoes (or less), more eggs (or less), and the biscuits can be normal or gigantic.

But, when you take on a restaurant challenge, you play by the restaurant's rules. The platter could be 6 or 8 lbs. Well, it's a nice assortment of food. This picture makes me want breakfast.

Three Men, Two Pizzas

An interesting situation arises when two different friends want to complete the same team pizza challenge with you. From my standpoint, I came to the only reasonable conclusion: complete the challenge separately with both guys. And do it on the same day.

Rosati's in La Quinta, CA offers a 16" stuffed crust pizza challenge for two. You gotta pick six toppings, and as usual I recommend going all vegetable. Veggies lose more water weight when they cook, and they are less salty than meat toppings so you'll probably take in less water as you eat.

If I had to judge, the pizza weighs in around 8-9 lbs. It takes almost an hour to cook, so I'd say to call it in if you're interested. Winners get their pictures on the wall and a gift certificate refund of $30.

The day of decision was a Saturday in October. I met Matt Cohen at the pizza place with one goal in mind: we were going to destroy the time record, which stood around 24 minutes. Matt's always had great success in speed and sprinting competitions whereas I do better in long distance challenges.

 

We would need to split the difference today. I pressed hard to finish my half around 11 minutes. Matt started off like a rocket but had still one piece left at the 12-13 minute mark. We divided the last piece (4.5/8 for me) and took the new record in 15m30s. To Matt's credit, the pizza was dense as hell and his volume skill is definitely improving.

Four hours later, it was time for supper. I met up with John Rivera and prepared to face another 16" stuffed crust challenge. Most competitive eaters don't know John yet, but he knows quite a few of you. He lives in Joshua Tree and found out about me after we traded Hogzilla burger records at the Route 62 Diner in Yucca Valley. Most recently, he set a pancake record at the IHOP in Rancho Mirage after nearly doubling the house best.

But this time we were going after pizza, not burgers. The 30 minute time limit didn't seem intimidating even though with food in my stomach this second go would be considerably harder. We ended up splitting this challenge right down the middle, with a win in 27 minutes. John finished his last bite a few moments before mine. 

Two wins over the same challenge in one day.. the owner of the place couldn't believe it, but he was happy to add two more sets of winners to his Wall of Fame.

At the end, my total was 8.5 pieces or just over one entire 16" deep dish. It's not clear to me that I could have finished the entire pie solo in 30 minutes, but it might be something to do one day. There's also a solo 12" deep dish challenge (no winners yet), but I don't think that will give me much trouble.

At least pizza always tastes good. This one tasted great, probably the most buttery and flavorful deep dish I've yet to sample. Rest assured the gift certificates won't sit around unused.

The Legend of Babyman

Several years ago, my friends had a son. For whatever reason, I decided to nickname him "Babyman." It was funny at first. Over four years later, the moniker is out of place. I wonder what I'll call him in another ten years.

When he was a baby, he ate a ton. There was a running joke that I might have to take him under my wing one day. That probably won't be happening.  But, the lad is definitely a fan of my side work. His parents tell me he often demands to watch the PCH episode of Man V Food Nation, usually several times a day. I'm glad someone liked it.

Steaks... why did it have to be steaks? 

72 oz Side of Beef

The Iron Hog Saloon, a few miles away from Victorville, offers a 72 oz steak challenge modeled with near exactitude off the Big Texan in Amarillo, Texas.

Getting to the Iron Hog is a bit of a journey. After reaching Victorville, you must drive through several miles of dusty desert road. At some point you wonder if you're going in the right direction. GPS says that you are, but in the desolation you begin to doubt that tinny voice telling you to drive ahead.

It's a biker bar, yes, but they take their challenge very seriously. Here is the competition table. Once time begins, you get one hour to plow through the steak and various sides or you owe them $100. This price tag is a bit steep. I'd say it's the biggest deterrent to any brave soul taking the challenge. On top of the table is an official rundown of the rules and some local trivia.

Now it's time for some backstory. Prior to my visit, I had never done a steak challenge. The idea of trying to eat 4 1/2 lbs of meat seemed intimidating. When I filmed with Adam Richman on the set of Man v Food Nation a week prior to taking this challenge, Richman made sure to sell the point that I'd never done a steak challenge. But, facing a 3 lb tri tip sandwich (which I did for the show) is a bit different from facing a 4.5 lb steak with assorted sides.

Yeah, it's that big. Easily the size of 8 or 9 ordinary steaks that a man or woman would eat for dinner. Before my visit, there was only one challenge winner. Her name is Stephanie Wu, an enthusiastic eating challenger who completed several challenges and operated a sophisticated website documenting challenges before mysteriously disappearing. I hope she's ok, wherever she ended up. Her record time was 59 minutes.

The cook brought out the platter, let me choose my knives, and we were off. I chose to focus on the meat first. In about 8 minutes the steak was over half finished, so I switched over to the potato and tomato slices. Though I didn't have to, I also finished the optional lettuce and cantaloupe slices. They were good for varying up the flavor.



My finish under 29 minutes caused a small uproar in the restaurant. It cut the record time in less than half, so I understand the shock, but there's many eaters who could have finished this challenge in under 15 minutes. Knowing how to tackle a huge steak now, I'm certain I could improve on my own time. It made me nervous when customers would crowd in to watch, but it's not everyday that someone rolls in and manhandles the biggest meal on the menu.

And without a doubt, this is a challenge that I would love to do a second time. It tasted phenomenal, the cut of meat wasn't too fatty, and there are several sides on the menu so there's plenty to choose from. Given the price tag there's no way they'd let me have another one on the house.

They even have a guest book! There's only been two challenge restaurants, in my experience, that offered that nice touch. The other, famous for pancakes and weary travelers, will be the focus of an upcoming post.

Crantastic

Any takers for a pound of cranberry sauce buried in mixed nuts?

Video: 20,000 Calorie Challenge

Finally, here's the video of the 20k calorie challenge. Some referred to it as the 20k intestinal run. Trail mix was simply a bad choice for a volume challenge. The pumpkin ice cream made the experience palatable at least.

The video is more or less a parody of "Epic Meal Time" crossed with Man v Food. My students did a good job asking questions and providing commentary during the challenge. This production will likely serve as the starting point for a multimedia club at my school. Hopefully we will find more interesting things to record besides food.

Fishy Choice

I know some people who won't touch sushi at the supermarket. Well.. as long as it's still edible...

Riding the Sunset

If you can eat a 3 lb sandwich in short order, Hollywood's Sunset Deli may have a free meal waiting for you. Their Challenger Sandwich normally costs $30, but finish faster than the current champ your meal is on the house, along with a cool shirt, and your pic on the wall of fame and website. You also earn the right to create a sandwich to be placed on the menu. 

The sandwich comes with several cuts of meat and your choice of cheese. If you have any issues regarding taset or diet, they will gladly sub out one food for more of another. 3 lbs is not going to be a huge test for a serious eater. The issue is getting over the time limit. When I visited last February, the record was 19 minutes, held by a local customer.

My strategy was simple. Use the soda that comes with the meal to moisten the bread and push through the massive meat pile. 19 minutes was not a huge hurdle to climb and I was able to finish just over 16 minutes. The staff could tell I was on my way to a win early on, though they hoped I could do it sub-15. Everything was delicious. I think my only regret was that there wasn't more food to be eaten.

And yes, you do need to eat the pickle to be counted a winner. Time stops when the last bite is swallowed. Whatever glory I earned from this challenge was fleeting. Kevin Ross, newly independent, recently visited the restaurant and topped my time with a finish under 11 minutes.

Epic Fail Time

20,000 calories may be possible in one meal, but you aren't going to get there by eating 8 lbs of trail mix. I learned that the "hard" way last Friday. Everything in the bag required laborious chewing. Nothing softened, even doused in pumpkin ice cream.

The concept was still a success. It was arranged as a school-community event in Yucca Valley, my students were invited to watch and complete observational assignments, and everyone else who came to watch loved it. The Hi Desert Star actually mentioned the event in last Saturday's paper. Channel 2 News in nearby Palm Springs requested event photographs and a write-up.

One of these days, I'll find an effective way to concoct an edible 20k calorie meal. Trail mix seemed smart: it's calorie dense, so you get high calorie counts without adding on a ton of weight. Maybe I'll take a cue from Johnnie Excel and load up on mayonnaise next time out.

I stopped after eating for 80 minutes... wasn't so full as much as I was tired and disgusted. Even turning the leftover portions into thick, blended smoothies didn't help. You'd be surprised, but they tasted pretty good.

In an epic encounter, food won. There's a large amount of video footage from this stunt, and it will be making its way onto YouTube shortly.

20K Is Pho Real

There haven't been many updates on this site lately. So, here I go. You're looking at the Pho Real Challenge, offered at the Bamboo Cafe in Simi Valley. It's comparable to most other pho challenges I've done.. 2 lbs of noodles, and 2 lbs of meats. I powered through the bowl in 18 minutes. That was second best to the house record of 12 minutes, set by another competitive eater a month before. Winners get a free shirt and a $25 refund.

The funniest detail of this challenge came from a customer seated several rows behind me. He ordered his own pho challenge bowl several minutes before me, but was still working on it long after I'd been declared a winner.

"What the hell? He's done? That guy's a beast. He's gotta have a tapeworm or something."

Well, tapeworm or not, it made for some good eating.

***

20K Club Revisited

Though the subject has sat dormant for months, I will be making a serious attempt at entering the 20k club tomorrow. If this subject makes no sense to you (or if you think I'm about to go running), 20k refers to calories consumed. Matt Stonie, Johnnie Excel, and I were discussing the feasibility of eating 20,000 calories in one sitting using real foods and nothing much came of the project but research.

Tomorrow comes action. Pictures and a report will follow.

School Lunch

Not all schools offer their students pre-packaged industrial goop. The last school I worked for had a cook staff on hand, preparing every meal by hand. Some stuff came out of cans, but a lot of it was good. I miss the chili cheese fries. Pasta wasn't bad by half.

Snow Go

I wouldn't recommend triyng it, but a snowstorm in the High Desert will literally dish out the world's biggest unflavored snow cone. Hard to say which part of the car you'd want to eat from.

Burger War

This Saturday at 7PM, Lumpy's Diner in Antioch will host a true gastrointestinal joust. Their 3rd annual Burger Eating Championship will gather the best collection of independent talent since the Derby Deli's West Coast Hot Dog Eating Championship last month.

Competitors have twelve minutes to eat as many burgers as they can. The winner walks away with a custom champion's belt and a handsome cash prize of several hundred dollars. Last year's runner-up, Johnnie Excel, looks to promote to the top slot in 2011.

So who's going to give Johnnie some competiton? There are a few names on the list. Dax Swanson, who's been on a strong run lately, will be there to represent Norcal. Mary Bowers, a recent entrant to the California competitive eating scene, will be appearing in her third contest this Saturday and promises to bring "elegance and etiquette" to the sanctioned insanity.

I will be competing as well, making this the eighth time in 2011 I've shared a contest stage with Excel. It's ironic but I've competed against him more than any other eater. One of these days (or so I vow) I will catch him.

So who else might be playing? There will be plenty of local players to represent the neighborhood. But, other names like Greg Moss, Kevin Ross, Tom Gilbert, and even Stephanie Torres come to mind. We'll have to see how things shape up Saturday night.

Let the burger bash begin.

Orochan's Bowl of Lava

Ah yes, we continue with a hot story already in progress. The incredibly spicy Special #2 ramen challenge at Orochan Ramen in Los Angeles will net you a pic on the "Wall of Bravery" if you can survive.

So how hot was it? Well, aside from the few noodles, vegetables, and peppers in the bowl, you are dealing  with red chili powder dissolved in water. It's hell in a bowl. It's gonna be hell in your mouth, hell in your esophagus, hell in your stomach, hell in your intestines... you get the picture.

I powered through the bowl in 20 minutes via sheer stubbornness. As my coworker and friend Steve Mucci put it: "There's no pause button with you." And he's right. I drained the bowl mostly with large gulps, but I used a straw at times.

Luckily the friend who accompanied me was not Mucci, but a medical student from back East. What happened next mixes equal parts comedy, insanity, and medical emergency. We left the ramen house in search of some ice cream to celebrate. My stomach started cramping as we walked, and each step became increasingly laborious.

Well, that should teach me not to eat such hot food on any empty stomach (note to self: your strength is capacity challenges. Skip the hot stuff in the future). I stumbled a bit, the pain in my gut enough to make me double over. Within minutes I was laying on the sidewalk in the Little Tokyo shopping district.

A few kids on skateboards came up to me. They could tell I was in mortal pain, but I waved them away. Damn kids, can't you see I'm hurting? Don't even wanna talk. Get on your boards and get the hell away from me.

My friend had already ran to the local drugstore when he saw me doubled over. He nearly called 911 when he saw me sprawled out on the concrete. Well, the future doctor brought me the right prescription: a roll of Tums, two packages of Pepto-Bismol, and a bottle of water. Everything went down the hatch. Then I waited. The rumbling stopped, and I could walk about.

I felt golden again. Couldn't say no to green tea ice cream at that point.

And this is where I should probably forget to report tackling a team pizza challenge with Matt "Sweet Tooth" Cohen that evening, after the ramen. But what the hell. No pause button.