Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Happy New Year - 2015 Here We Come!


Happy New Year! 2014 was a memorable time. There's so much I could reflect upon, but I will focus on 3 things.

1) I didn't really live up to last year's goal of losing 10 lbs. That bothers me. Not as much as it should, but it bothers me. I suppose my new goal for 2015 should be to lose 20 lbs. We will see how well that works out.

2) With every passing year, I'm feeling more in my element as a high school teacher. This is a really good feeling. It's been seven years, so thankfully something is going right. I'd like to thank my students for helping me get better as the months and years go on. I couldn't do it without you guys and girls. Literally - they'd fire me if I didn't have students.

3) I need to enter more eating contests in 2015. That's not really a reflection, more so a statement. I didn't win a single contest in 2014. Sadly, I didn't enter many, so that makes this conclusion even more dire. Completed dozens of challenges, made some cool videos, like the ones linked in this post, but didn't win any contests. That's something to work on next year.


No new video for the new year - I'm afraid the ones I did the last two years will have to do for now. There's only so much one body can take in a week. The trip to Nashville was fun, but alas it was time to come home. More on that in the next post. Until then, have a safe new year and don't eat anything I wouldn't eat. 

Sunday, December 28, 2014

Eating Through Nashville


December 2014 will witness personal history for me - it is the first time I'll be visiting the state of Tennessee. Really, it's my first journey to any of the Southern states. It's an opportunity that doesn't come around often. It all came together when All Pro Eating invited me to participate in the second annual hot chicken eating championship that coincides with the Music City Bowl.


In case you're wondering, the Music City Bowl (December 29) is a football game. It isn't a music festival, or a bowling league. So, now I feel really culturally challenged.. that's why Google was invented I suppose. I owe a few of my coworkers an apology and a really long explanation. Hopefully a few pictures of what I'm eating will distract them from their confusion. It's all about the food, isn't it?

Apparently hot chicken is a thing in Nashville. I enjoy spicy foods, and I love chicken, so this eating championship should be good fare for me. It's an 8 minute event so in all likelihood it will be over before I have a chance to really feel like a stuck pig. The previous champion is Molly Schuyler, All Pro Eating's #1 ranked eater, and she will be there to defend the title. We're also expecting Dave Brunelli, Stephanie Torres, and Michael Deitz to compete.

With all the impressive competition, I have something to hold up for myself. All Pro Eating lists me as their eating challenge expert, the man who happily goes anywhere and everywhere to eat crazy things, spicy things, and anything a restaurant will offer as a dare. I should fit right in with hot chicken. The league actually provides me with some impressive billing on the event sheet:


That's a mouthful. "Expert Food Challenger," "spicy food specialist," "could put down some impressive amounts." It sounds like I have my work cut out for me.

They also mention a lot of the same on the league's website:



Well... at least if I have a bad day I can always go home and eat a potted cactus.

Saturday, December 27, 2014

Secret Santa For Competitive Eaters, 2014 Style


Secret Santa is a game where a mysterious benefactor gives you a gift to commemorate Christmas. I suppose you can play the game anytime, since Santa is losing his sectarian spirit. Sorta. But when competitive eaters play it, you know there's gonna be a twist.

The competitive eating community on YouTube has played a mass Secret Santa game for two years running. The brainchild of Tracy Goode, a frequent competitor on the Major League Eating circuit, the game allows a wide array of eaters to gift each other with ridiculous (secret) parcels of food that must be revealed and consumed on camera. The mystery element makes this project a winner. 


Of course, not all participants have a mean streak in them. Some players choose to send nice things, such as boxes of chocolate and jars of Nutella. A few eaters will receive truly nasty nuggets of noxious nefariousness, but that's all in good fun. And the winner is you, the viewer, who gets to see the stunned reaction of the person trying to eat the weird food at hand. 

Molly Schuyler, All Pro Eating's #1 ranked eater, played the game this year. Though she holds world records in speed eating normal foods, the weird side of the aisle is not something she typically relishes. She does relish the fact that Secret Santa exposes eaters to things they wouldn't normally try. At least, that's the gist of what I got from an off-hand comment. And I totally agree. 

For me, this year's Secret Santa game offered a moment of sweet revenge. I sent "Cardboard" Shell two bottles of tamarind syrup. Seems like a good offering after the 24 century eggs she sent me last year. And again, the winner is you - the viewer. Disgusting eating makes for wonderful viewing. Just ask the boys over at Wreckless Eating, who've practically made a living off puking on camera. 

If you want to see what this year's smackdown was all about, feel free to check out the YouTube playlist here: Competitive Eater Secret Santa 2014 Collab Playlist!  (for those who don't know, a collab is short for collaboration. In Youtube lingo, it means that several people with YouTube accounts all worked together on a similar project to help gather traction for all their channels) 

And if you're a written list kinda guy or girl, the full list of names and respective videos is found here, posted in the order I received the links.


Whew, that was a lot of typing. Remind me never to do anything like that again. Another winner in this project was the US Postal Service, who had the professional pleasure of delivering all of our wonderful crates of cuisine. 

I know one thing for sure - I'm playing the game again next year. You'd better come and watch :)