A New King in Escondido

Closing out February with a shout-out to Matt "Sweet Tooth" Cohen. He set a new house record at the Fatburger in Escondido by demolishing the Triple Kingburger in 3:20.

A big win for an awesome member of the eating community. He's got a few big challenges coming up. Time to take care of business in March!

Meet Big Danny

Some burgers have ridiculous names. Big Danny sounds like some behemoth of a man, not an article of food.

Tequila Hoppers in Upland, CA serves the namesake burger for about $6 (hey, a true six-dollar burger!) during its daily happy hour promotion running from 2-8 PM. You get to choose a side item to accompany the burger. I selected curly fries, but ordinary french fries or potato salad are options.

This thing comes with a full pound of ground beef. Along with the onion bun, tomato, lettuce, pickles, and cheese, it was one of the best burgers I've sampled in awhile. Maybe it's just the incredible value talking. It rivals the burger from Hoggs Gourmet Grill in Moreno Valley in terms of taste. The onion bun is definitely a nice touch.

Forgive the poor lighting in the photo above. The place was nearly as dark as the embers of Hell, and my cell phone lacks any sort of artificial light.

Since it wasn't a challenge or anything, there wasn't much point in rushing through it. It might have been hard to explain to onlookers anyway... why is this guy swallowing his burger whole? and so on. It wasn't much more than a 3-minute affair anyway.

If Tequila Hoppers threw on another pound of beef, this burger could easily be transformed into a challenge or contest item.

Custom-ordering extra patties will set you back $3 a shot, so at this rate you'd be better off just ordering a second combo.

Just be warned that credit card purchases require a $10 minimum. They were kind enough to waive it on my first visit, but then again no one explained it to me until I offered my card.

This is my new favorite six-dollar burger.

400 Calorie Snack

Hot cheese rocks.

Mellow Heart

Happy (belated) Valentine's Day.

Peeps, the makers of those sugary little chicks, trotted out a chocolate heart filled with raspberry-flavored marshmallow cream to mark the occasion.

It's an ounce of confectioner's bliss for under a dollar.

The texture of the creamy center reminds you of the legendary Peep, all spongy and such. It's a little dose of dessert at 110 calories.

It was new in 2011. Let's see if it comes back in 2012.

Maybe they'll market a bigger model.

Going Whole Hogg

Hoggs Gourmet Grill is one of those little restaurants that may be easily overlooked. That would be a mistake. It's tucked away in the back corner of a shopping center right off the 60 Freeway in Moreno Valley.

Their cuisine is incredibly rich, smoky, and original. That is a winning combination in a culinary world dominated by chain restaurants and mass-produced foodstuffs.

This place is exceptional for the Inland Empire because it actually offers an eating challenge. A few others have popped up lately, but Los Angeles and San Diego counties are still locally dominant.

It's not especially difficult, either. You need to put away a 2.5 lb Quad Hogg Burger with a side of fries during your visit to get your picture on the wall. There's no time limit, and in the words of the incredibly friendly owner Jeff, "about 700 people have done it."


No kidding. A plethora of photographs covered one corner of the restaurant's interior wall. It's like playing Where's Waldo. Good luck finding your photo in the sea of faces.


As for the burger, it was easily one of the best I've ever eaten. You get your choice of cheese, so I went with pepperjack to give it a kick. It was greasy and good.

But... I question whether it really weighs in at 2.5 lbs. After devouring the burger in 4:30, it felt like I could have fit in a couple more. The house record is 2:17, set in November 2010.

I finished the whole combo in 7 minutes, but it didn't matter much since the restaurant doesn't keep time. Just a personal thing.


Afterward, the owner invited me to return one day to attempt the consumption record: two 5-patty Hoggs with a side of chili cheese fries. That's supposedly around 7 lbs of food. I don't think it's impossible! Seems like a video-worthy event.

Thanks again to Donsturdy.com for supporting me on this challenge. It was one of the most delectable as of late.

Here's to the Inland Empire! May their future always be bright.

Sweet in San Diego

The Cravory hosted its inaugural Cookie Eating Championship this past Sunday (February 13) at the Hillcrest Farmers' Market in San Diego.

Parking was absolutely terrible. You can't fault the event promoters for that. The city needs to address the reality that the area needs more parking for its popular weekend farmers' market scene. It took me 45 minutes to find a spot, and even then I had to trek a half-mile on foot.

Festivities were set to start at noon. I was a bit late, but luckily they waited for me. The Cravory provided us with 50 cookies divided into 4 flavors.

14 Red Velvet - red cookies with white chocolate chips. Really dense.
12 Peanut Butter Overload - really dense and chunky.
12 Birthday Cake - light, but covered in frosting and sprinkles
12 Pancakes & Bacon - crunchy, according to Matt Cohen. I didn't eat one.

The competition was fierce. Mario and Cindy participated as local heroes, but Johnnie Excel and Matt Cohen are no strangers to the table. Matt established a string of first-place finishes the last couple years in indy contests. He is a dangerous force in very short sprints.

Excel had a breakout debut year in 2010. His victories in independent contests and challenges has been nothing short of noteworthy. He is a strong eater with no clear weaknesses.

We were given 10 minutes to eat as many cookies as we could. I don't usually participate in speed contests, but it was cookies! This would be sweet. I do well with sugars and how often do you get to chow down on designer cookies for free?

The contest got started before any of us really realized it. We were given two dunking cups full of water, and the judge refilled them as needed during the ten minutes.

These cookies didn't soak very well. The Red Velvet was particularly difficult to get down. At the two minute mark, Excel had a lead of at least 5-6 cookies. Damn this guy was quick! He never really slowed down. I pushed myself hard for the remainder of the contest.

The Top 3: Johnnie Excel with 28 cookies, 24 for me, and 18 for Matt Cohen.


This was a great improvement for me, in terms of speed eating. I got pretty close to Excel. He's no joke. He's got a great CE future ahead of him.

The local eaters, Mario and Cindy, tied for 4th place with 12 cookies each. I gotta pay them my respects for getting involved in this craziness. Sweet, sweet craziness.

Matt Cohen enjoyed the contest, but I believe he had an off-day. They don't call him the "Sweet Tooth" for nothing!

If you find yourself craving some cookies, you need to check out the Cravory. They have some great food and put on a good show. Can't wait 'til their next cookie championship!

EZ Take-Out Burger Record

EZ-Take Out Burger is a chain restaurant. Their internal dynamics are similar to In-N-Out, except here you can get deep-fried Twinkies and Oreo cookies. You can also custom-order massive burger towers. In-N-Out abandoned that practice some years ago.

You'd say "Take-4" if you wanted a burger with four patties. Now, it isn't common to find a chain restaurant offering a challenge. This one was posted on the Man V Food blog on the Travel Channel website. I visited last Sunday, February 14.

It's not offered at every location. But, Temecula's EZ Take-Out Burger maintains a Wall of Fame for the successful eater of the biggest burger.


Things started small. Take-7. Take-10. Take-19. This poster celebrates a behemoth "Take-30," successfully wolfed down on October 1, 2009 by a local customer.

I'd need to eat a 31-patty burger to dethrone the champ. That's nearly 4 lbs of beef, along with the cheese, bread, lettuce, and tomato that goes with it. Getting the new record also scores a nifty restaurant t-shirt as well my own photo on the wall.

So what does a Take-31 resemble?


That's one monumental patty stack. There's no way it's gonna stand up. Gotta come in a box... a box that's rapidly soaking up hot cheese and meat grease. Yum!


The burger was as wide as my midsection. Well, almost. I hadn't attempted this much ground beef since tackling the OMG Burger last summer. That hat was probably the most ridiculous thing about this challenge. I didn't keep it on long.

My strategy? Eat two patties at a time, leaving the meager bun toward the end.


It was mechanical. Repetitive. Boring. And finally cold.

The meat was incredibly dry toward the end. Ketchup and soda were my only friends on this one. Bite, drink, swallow... ad nauseam.

Around 45-50 minutes this beast was slain. New record! There was no time limit, but faster is better in my book.

I should point out that two hours before attempting this burger, I competed in the Cravory's first annual Cookie Eating Championship in San Diego and placed second to Johnnie Excel, eating 24 cookies to his 28. That was a close finish in ten minutes. Damn close.


It's not easy to go fast when you've got 4 lbs of cookies in the gut... but I still got it done. What a relief, too. Gotta send my thanks to Donsturdy.com for encouraging me with this challenge.

They're pushing me to make 2011 a year of gargantuan meals.

Next time, I will blog about the cookie contest in San Diego.

Draining the Sink

San Francisco Creamery knows a little about portion control. They serve one of the biggest commercially available sundaes in the civilized world.

This monstrous helping of dessert is called the Kitchen Sink - because it comes to your table served inside of one. No joke. If you can eat all the contents of the Sink by yourself, you get your meal for free and earn one free sundae every day for a year.

That's a generous prize. This must be a steep mountain to climb.

The menu bills it as a 2-gallon sundae. That might be a slight overstatement. Even so, it features 8 massive scoops of rock-solid ice cream and 8 rich toppings, adorned with nuts, cherries, and whipped cream. You must also break the standing time record to win the challenge.

Last Sunday was not my first rodeo. I attempted the Sink back in November 2009, but I was unable to break the 30 minute limit. It took me an agonizing 47 minutes, which was exactly where the record stood when I strolled into Walnut Creek last weekend.

So a little backstory: the first person to complete the challenge needed nearly two hours. The record has been progressively shorter since. TV viewers will remember that Adam Richman became finisher #5 and required over one hour to do it. He suffered toward the end. That's a lot of lactose!

Finisher #6 was a truly phenomenal eater. Ben Monson (who went on to eat professionally) annihilated the Kitchen Sink in an astounding sub-8 minutes. The staff didnt believe anyone could eclipse that record, so the time to beat was set at 30 minutes.

No one could even break 30, so after one year the time to beat was reset to one hour. Finisher #7 put the Sink away in 47 minutes, so that's where the record stood when I arrived.

For my part, I was a bit nervous going in. I was going to be interviewed by Donsturdy.com while taking the challenge, so I definitely needed to shine. I set a personal target of under 30 minutes, just to prove that the old record could be snapped.



I went with 8 solid flavors and non-liquid toppings, to avoid having any hard shells form over the ice cream. My choices were vanilla, chocolate, key lime, neopolitan, cookie dough, mango-strawberry, coffee, and strawberry. My toppings were restricted to fruit toppings, chocolate chips, and sprinkles. No gummy bears or marshmallows!

By the end, my mouth was frozen cold and my tongue was numb. 21 minutes? Unbelievable. But what about Ben's 7-something? Considering what this felt like, I developed a new respect for Ben's feat.


Ice cream is different. Around the 14 minute mark, it suddenly felt like I had this huge watery boulder in my stomach. It wasn't enough to stop me, but it was a strange sensation.

To quote a friend, I became the 8th person to "drain the sink." Whoever comes next will need to do it within 21 minutes. A few names come to mind... Stephanie Torres? Matt Stonie? Johnnie Excel? Randy Santel? Who will #9 be?

They're going to need a tolerance for lactose and sugar. For whatever reason I do very well with these types of foods.

I liked the green t-shirt they gave me to commemorate my win.

But the ice cream cake? That was a little too much.

110....

As in pieces of sushi. Not the freeway running through Pasadena.


This is the largest certified dose of sushi I have crossed paths with. There were California rolls, nigiri pieces, and legitimate raw fish thrown in for good measure. It went down at King Buffet in San Bernardino, so suffice it to say that the meal didn't end with these four plates.

Another day, I'll challenge the plate record at Sushilicious in Irvine, CA. Johnnie Excel pushed it to 60, and then Stephanie Torres pressed it to 61. Well... 62 is a steep mountain to climb, but such mountains have been climbed before.

Gotta put on my hiking boots and head to Orange County.

I gotta give a big shout-out to Donsturdy.com for their video of my attempt at the Kitchen Sink at San Francisco Creamery. Awesome guys - totally into competitive eating and food fighting. I see big things for them this year.

More about the Kitchen Sink next time!

Party Burritos

This is a case of false advertising? Someone get me the phone number for the Federal Trade Commission. I'm not about to pay $20 for a party burrito, but something feels wrong.

Serves ten? That must be an exaggeration.

GOMAD

Last summer, a friend turned my attention to something called the "GOMAD" Diet. The acronym refers to a "gallon of milk a day," as opposed to losing one's sanity. There may not be much of a difference after you've been on the plan a week. That's a lot of milk on a daily basis. One or two cups is my norm.

Turns out the GOMAD Diet is used by people looking to pack on weight quickly. I don't need help in that department... but it got me interested in the subject of drinking a gallon of milk in one sitting.

It's been done before. Obviously. I just wanted to find something different to do that week in July.

My kitchen scale said the full gallon weighed roughly 8.8 lbs. It's liquid, so I knew it would be far easier than doing the same in solids.

Extrapolating from the label, a gallon of nonfat milk packs quite the nutritional punch:

1440 calories
208 g of carbohydrates
144 g of protein
and a whole lotta calcium.

Well, six minutes later I felt quite heavy. Then about thiry minutes later I felt empty. And absolutely starving. Weirdness.

It was so cold! That's what I get for drinking it right out of the fridge. I actually suffered "brain freeze" at a couple of different moments and needed to stop.

One thing's for sure - no GOMAD for me.

No GOMISM either!

Frozen Custard

This is one of those delectable foods that escaped notice til recently.

Frozen custard - looks and feels like soft serve, but in terms of fat and sugar content is richer than ice cream. It's thicker than frozen yogurt too. Made with egg yolks, so you know you're getting all that sweet cholesterol.

This picture is from my custard initiation, June 2010 at a place in San Jose whose name I can't remember. The chosen flavors where chocolate and vanilla, but the place sold a variety of other flavors as well. I figured it was safest to go with classic tastes.

For whatever reason there don't seem to be many custard houses in Southern California. I've noticed more of them in the Southwest (Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico). Whatever. It's not like this is the kind of thing you eat all the time anyway.

But it would be bomb if the machines at Hometown Buffet pumped out this stuff!

Feeling Rustic

For a total refreshment, this post won't be about over-the-board engorgement. It will be about food. Cheap food that I've eaten time and again.

Trevor's Rustic Inn in San Bernardino, CA serves a $5.99 steak dinner Wednesday and Saturday evenings. It's a price most people can't believe, with a taste that gives you a lot of value for your dollar. This isn't mass-produced buffet slop. It is quite good.

You get an 8 oz sirloin slab of meat cooked any way you want it, a salad, vegetables, baked potato, and dinner roll.

It can be satisfying to eat a meal without walking away feeling like an over-inflated balloon.

Though a nagging question keeps rising up in the back of my mind.

How many of these dinners could one man eat?