Video: Kobayashi Takes the Stage

The Derby Deli brought a great contest this year, replete with custom logos for all the eaters and new rules for tallying consumed hot dogs and buns.

All food "debris" left on plates, inside drinking cups, on and below tables was collected, strained, and weighed against competitors' totals. Eaters were also given separate drinking vessels for "dunking" and drinking. The new rules brought an element of science to the proceedings. Eaters would only get credit for legitimate consumption.

Takeru Kobayashi, the event headliner, entered the packed area to great fanfare and applause.



He crushed the competition with 49 hdbs in 10 minutes, but was a distant mile from the projected target of 70 dogs and buns. Defending champ Tom Gilbert ate 29 and "Furious" Pete finished with an angry 25.

Well, there's always next year.

Monster of a Burger, Part Two

Well, this is what was left of the Monster Burger Combo after 15 minutes. The manager does play-by-play commentary over the PA system as you chow down. He remarked that he never saw anyone tear into the burger the way I did. It only took me 6 minutes to demolish the massive hamburger, but the fries were too much. I stopped eating (and drinking) around the 13 minute mark when I saw it was hopeless.

The manager decided to credit me with his restaurant's first-ever challenge victory in 5 years. That got me a $25 refund and a t-shirt. He was impressed with the way I annihilated the burger and drained over half the pitcher. I was a bit crestfallen that I didn't finish it all.

In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have done this after waging a double cheeseburger war with Johnnie Excel. Lesson learned.

A few weeks later, Kevin Ross rolled in and got even closer to a 100% finish. He nearly finished all the fries! I don't have photos, but he was credited with the second-ever win over the Monster Burger Challenge. Maybe one day we'll both roll in starving and go for broke. I feel like I could take this one on an empty stomach.

Stephen Obar informed me that he also completed the burger within 10 minutes, but was unable to conquer the massive pile of stringy potatoes. This challenge is a beast.

So who's next? Where's winner #3?

Going for Broke

The Pregnant Burrito is El Nopal's signature dish. It's a 2 lb concoction, stuffed inside with chicken, avocado and onions. They glaze the top of the tortilla with red sauce and jack cheese, and you're all set. It's a set piece of baked deliciousness.

El Nopal runs an official house record challenge for the most burritos consumed in one sitting. New champions get their food for free and score a golden t-shirt. Unofficially, they also recognize a speed record for consuming one Pregnant Burrito.

On July 29, 2011, it stood at 6:05. Around 1 PM, Matt Cohen walked inside the restaurant and ordered his meal. The record wouldn't stand a chance.



Down to 1:38, a decent time on a messy 2 lb dish. Things would have gone more quickly if Matt went for a "hands-on" approach, but it was still fun to watch.

Does anyone else want a burrito now?

Monsterburger Royale

Professional eaters and hangers-on will converge upon the city of Hawthorne, CA this June when the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship Qualifying Contest rolls into town.

Some enterprising souls may wander away to B&R's Old Fashion Hamburgers to sample the specimen featured above.

The Monster Royal Burger.

16 oz of pre-cooked meat, chili, cheese, eggs, lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, banana peppers, and your choice of bacon or pastrami. I picked pastrami.

It's like a Fatburger or the Original Tommy's, just a lot messier and straight to your table with that feeling of home.

A poster on the wall claims it weighs 1.5 lbs all dressed up. Apparently there's even a yearly speed eating contest with this thing every October. Unless it's been canceled.

Definitely worth the $8.50 (back in October 2009). I gave it a good home. The restaurant was clean inside, the staff inviting, the regulars cordial and enthusiastic.

One customer couldn't stand the sight of such an overwhelming burger: "Why would you want to eat that?!"

Not sure how I should have replied. It was definitely an awesome eat. B&R's know their stuff.

Sweet in San Diego

The Cravory hosted its inaugural Cookie Eating Championship this past Sunday (February 13) at the Hillcrest Farmers' Market in San Diego.

Parking was absolutely terrible. You can't fault the event promoters for that. The city needs to address the reality that the area needs more parking for its popular weekend farmers' market scene. It took me 45 minutes to find a spot, and even then I had to trek a half-mile on foot.

Festivities were set to start at noon. I was a bit late, but luckily they waited for me. The Cravory provided us with 50 cookies divided into 4 flavors.

14 Red Velvet - red cookies with white chocolate chips. Really dense.
12 Peanut Butter Overload - really dense and chunky.
12 Birthday Cake - light, but covered in frosting and sprinkles
12 Pancakes & Bacon - crunchy, according to Matt Cohen. I didn't eat one.

The competition was fierce. Mario and Cindy participated as local heroes, but Johnnie Excel and Matt Cohen are no strangers to the table. Matt established a string of first-place finishes the last couple years in indy contests. He is a dangerous force in very short sprints.

Excel had a breakout debut year in 2010. His victories in independent contests and challenges has been nothing short of noteworthy. He is a strong eater with no clear weaknesses.

We were given 10 minutes to eat as many cookies as we could. I don't usually participate in speed contests, but it was cookies! This would be sweet. I do well with sugars and how often do you get to chow down on designer cookies for free?

The contest got started before any of us really realized it. We were given two dunking cups full of water, and the judge refilled them as needed during the ten minutes.

These cookies didn't soak very well. The Red Velvet was particularly difficult to get down. At the two minute mark, Excel had a lead of at least 5-6 cookies. Damn this guy was quick! He never really slowed down. I pushed myself hard for the remainder of the contest.

The Top 3: Johnnie Excel with 28 cookies, 24 for me, and 18 for Matt Cohen.


This was a great improvement for me, in terms of speed eating. I got pretty close to Excel. He's no joke. He's got a great CE future ahead of him.

The local eaters, Mario and Cindy, tied for 4th place with 12 cookies each. I gotta pay them my respects for getting involved in this craziness. Sweet, sweet craziness.

Matt Cohen enjoyed the contest, but I believe he had an off-day. They don't call him the "Sweet Tooth" for nothing!

If you find yourself craving some cookies, you need to check out the Cravory. They have some great food and put on a good show. Can't wait 'til their next cookie championship!

Big Rocco

Some pizzas are so massive they have their own life story. The 8 lb Big Rocco Stuffed Crust Pizza might have its own gravitational pull as well.

Maybe the truth is a little of both. On December 13, four of us were mystically pulled to Chicago Rocco's in San Diego to attempt this heretofore unconquered eating challenge.

As to the story, the owners told us that they named this pizza after their son - Rocco - who weighed 8 lbs at birth. I like that little detail. It really breathes some life into an otherwise standard pizza challenge. There's something neat, and equally perverse, about trying to eat the weight of a newborn in pizza.

If anyone is suspicious, 8 lbs is a standard marker for 2-person pizza challenges. Luigi's at the Beach (also in San Diego) claims that their 30" cheese pizza clocks in at 8 lbs. Original Grazianos, a chain that runs challenges at various Southern California locations, claims that their monster pizza runs 8-10 lbs.

Expecting one person to consume 8 lbs of pizza is no small feat. The pizza is only 12" wide, but it is 3" high and loaded with all the cheese you didn't ask for. It looks intimidating as they bring it out of the oven and set it on the table.

You get to pick six toppings (or stuffings?) from the menu. Picking lighter toppings will backfire, as it did with all of us, because they will add as much cheese and sauce as necessary to bring the total weight up to 8 lbs. Eat it all and it's free. Otherwise, pay them $35.

There's no time limit on this challenge. You get to take as long as you like. Of course, that's not always an advantage. Anyone who's ever tried to leisurely coast thru 7-8 lbs of food will find it gets increasingly painful as time wears on. It pays to "speed eat" sometimes.

Due to transportation issues, we arrived in two groups of two via different freeways. We agreed that the team arriving first might as well just begin the challenge. So, Manny Blitz and I dug in.

The pizzas were cut into 8 massive slices. The first 3-4 slices tasted delicious. Rich. Things got incredibly difficult once we passed the 50% point. I knew I would beat this thing, but it would be a battle. A long battle.

Our second team, composed of Aaron Ybarra and Stephanie Torres, arrived about 25 minutes after we had started. Soon enough, they were tearing through their own massive stuffed pizzas.


Though Manny and I started the challenge first, Aaron and Stephanie blasted through their pies with speedy technique. I hoped, somewhat legitimately, to become the first to finish this huge pizza. That honor instead went to Stephanie, who finished her pizza in approximately 36 minutes. The staff treated her to several sodas on the house after her big win.

I continued eating. It was considerably difficult because all the grease was getting to me... I don't think I ever needed to eat so much damn cheese in all my life. Along the way, Manny threw in the towel after eating about 6/8 of the total pie. He fought valiantly toward the end.

Pushing myself hard, I finished the last morsel of greasy pizza at 88 minutes. A win is a win! That makes me the second person to conquer the Big Rocco... considering the oily brutality of the challenge, it's an honor I should wear with pride. It really tested my endurance for distance eating. My only regret is not finishing within the hour mark I'd set for myself.


Strategy is all-important. Manny and I both employed a "slice by slice" method, but that was clearly not the way to go. You needed to get through the cheese before it hardened - and before your body began to reject all the grease. Our fellow eaters handled it the right way.

Though Aaron eventually gave up, he ate about 7/8 of the pie. No matter what else I can say, the man is fast! He's got a bright future in speed eating. The Big Rocco seems to be just a bit above his current stomach capacity.

It would have been cool to have gone 4 for 4 that night, but 2 for 4 is a decent result given the immense difficulty of the challenge. Most restaurant challenges do not approach the 8 lb mark, and for good reason.

It was a thrill to win, but the next day hardly felt glamorous ;(

Best Weekend Ever

My title might be exaggerating things. But just a little.


As far as food went, I can't complain about this past weekend. Returning to the Broken Yolk Cafe in Carlsbad, I managed to finish their Ironman Special in a personal record of 24 minutes(!). That's practically man-bites-dog news for me. My previous finishes clocked in at 60 and 55 minutes respectively - so, naturally, this was a special win for me. Cut my previous times in less than half.

Of course, this isn't all that much to brag about. I had the opportunity to personally watch Matt "MegaToad" Stonie polish off his plate in a mere seven minutes. That was incredible. And a restaurant record. I also can't compete with Ben Monson's unofficial finish of under 10 minutes. But, for me at least, this is some serious progress.


The next day, I joined Matt and his friend at La Casa Garcia in Anaheim. This time, we were hunting the 5 lb King Ranch Burrito. We told the server that we wanted "Three Kings," and the kitchen did not disappoint. This is an old foe for me. For Matt, a brand new challenge.

Matt was in thresher mode on this one... his finish at 4:17 was nothing short of amazing. Seriously, that's more than one pound per minute!

I was a lot more realistic. My aim was to get it done in less than 10 minutes, a target that was more-or-less set for me when a friend mentioned it on an eatfeats.com discussion thread.

Using a big spoon and the provided knife, I vanquished the King Ranch in 9 minutes and 40 seconds - no house record, but worlds away from my previous times of 45 and 21 minutes. Again, I cut my previous best in less than half.

I gotta see if I can press this newfound speed advantage into my future challenges.

And if you haven't already, you might want to check out some of Matt's videos on YouTube. Watching him "eat" (if you call it that!) is outta sight.

Breaking Some Eggs

The most famous breakfast-style eating challenge in Southern California has got to be the Broken Yolk Cafe Special, which you will only find at the Broken Yolk Cafe. This small chain has several locations throughout San Diego County, the newest of which opened shop a few months back in San Marcos.

I made my first and only attempt at this massive breakfast platter in October 2009, as part of a family celebration. We went to the location in Carlsbad, which is right along the coast of California via the Interstate 5. It was a beautiful city. I regret not taking any photos of the town - apparently the thrill of the insane meal was just too overbearing. What struck me as most memorable were the constant, and goregous, views of the Pacific Ocean.

Anyway, this breakfast was recently made famous by Adam Richman on Man V Food. Adam did it in the more popular Pacific Beach location. I opted for Carlsbad just because it was closer to home. It's pretty much the same huge dish regardless of where you go....

A dozen-egg omelet filled with mushrooms, cheese, onions, and bell peppers, buried in chili and cheese, served along with a mountain of home-fried potatoes and two infamously dense biscuits. I'm not sure if they're buttermilk. The whole thing comes out on a 15" pizza pan for presentation value.

And yeah, everyone in my party was shocked at the size of the meal in front of me. Including myself. I hadn't done a challenge in a few weeks, and I really wanted to do this one because it sounded especially challenging. This would be a feather in my cap.... a jewel in the crown.

Or a hole in my poor stomach. I didn't realize what I was getting into. This was easily 6-7 lbs of sustenance. The over-cliched power breakfast: eat this one and sleep for a week. I was told that only one other person had ever finished this breakfast special at Carlsbad. The manager was hopeful that he'd witness a second.

I couldn't disappoint, could I?

Well, let's just say that it wasn't easy. It was a real show-stopper, requiring every last one of the given 60 minutes. I started with the omelet, which was piping hot but really tasty. Mixing it up with the home fries and chili was a delicious idea given to me by another eater, and I have to give him credit because it really gave the meal some variety. The omelet totally vanished in about 15 minutes.

Getting through the home fries was a harsh tale. They became starchy, very difficult to chew.... and eventually they tasted like asphalt. I relied on ketchup and water to pack them down.

My biggest mistake was saving the massive biscuits for last. They had hardened by the time I powered through the eggs and potatoes. I'm not joking about this - they felt like damn rocks. I could have used them for paperweights or baseballs at that point. 

Dunking them in water to soften them was the only option left, but that just made them really doughy and nasty. I struggled to get through these incredibly tasteless, wet, heavy flour lumps. Somehow I got them down by the 60 minute mark.

Honestly, I was incredibly relieved to have finished. I was #2 in Carlsbad, I had my free T-shirt, and my name would be on the plaque of fame.... and best of all I could walk away from the table.

This was one of the toughest challenges I've ever come across.

....as well as one of the most delicious. You just gotta do it a little faster to appreciate it.

Going Mad

Near Sacramento, there's a small town called Lodi.... right off the 5 Freeway on State Highway 12. It's a little bit away from the major metropolitan centers, involves driving through some farmland, and seems isolated, but once you get into the urban areas it's really a city like any other.

One colleague liked to tell me that if you've seen one city, you've seen them all. It doesn't matter where in the world (or country) you are. You find shopping centers, religious institutions, municipal buildings, eating holes, sewage systems, government offices. Names and spatial configurations might vary. But... a city is a city. A place where people gather to live and work, produce and consume. If only he told me that before I hit the road.

Lodi has those rows of businesses, much the same way you would find them in Hanford, Carson, or San Luis Obispo. I was there to visit a burger restaurant I had read about on EatFeats. Called Andre's Cafe and Catering, this place boasted a huge hamburger meal that would be completely free to any diner who could consume it in 30 minutes.

This behemoth of a cheeseburger is called the Madd Dogg Burger.... I guess you gotta be a little mad to order it, or mad to believe you're actually going to get it for free. It's 2 lbs of beef stacked high with double helpings of all the usual hamburger condiments.... tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, onions, pickles, and mayonnaise. You are also required to finish the side order of french fries.

The interesting element of the challenge is the fact that you can order any variation of french fries they serve - the garlic parmesan certainly sounded tasty, but I know that it's never a good idea to eat more on a challenge than you have to! Less is more, in this case. It's just a very basic strategy when it comes to restaurant eating challenges. I'm sure they wouldn't have minded if I asked for the chili fries, because I would have been the damn fool trying to cram down an extra pound of food.

As a side note, I vastly prefer hamburger challenges that feature multiple meat patties as opposed to one huge slab of beef. The patties are cooked separately, come out juicier and tastier, are easier to chew and swallow, and require far less liquid to get through. Giant slabs of beef, by contrast, tend to be baked until the point of dry blandness. They're hell to get down. They also don't really remind me of true hamburgers.

This combo costs $12.99, but it's free if you can do it in 30 minutes. I didn't take any snapshots during the challenge, because I was so taxed by the task at hand. I had never done a burger challenge before, and I really didn't know how to go about it. I began by eating the patties separately with ketchup, mixing in the veggies as I went along. The bun was no trouble at all, but I hated the cup of mayo that came with this burger. Ugh.

I finished the last french fry exactly at the 30 minute mark. I didn't think I was really going to make it! I was certainly glad I did, though. No point in eating such a ridiculous amount of food on a dare, and then having to pay $14 for a handful of french fries. I would have been just as satisfied with a smaller serving of food, and a smaller bill. 

It's all in the thrill of competition, and I climbed the mountain yet again.

I agree with this statement! Life's also too short to eat bad food. Andre's Cafe puts out some excellent American-style grub... I'll be sure to sample those parmesan fries the next time I'm in Lodi.

Let's just say that won't be for awhile....

The Coney Island Crazies

My thoughts this week have been consumed by the wild events surrounding this year's July 4th Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eating Contest.

Yes, Joey Chestnut returned to claim his fourth straight title. That certainly was news.

But the even bigger news was all of the shortcomings of this year's event.

1) Joey didn't even come close to the astronomical figures he's reached in years past. Sure, 54 hot dogs and buns in 10 minutes is an insane eating feat, but this man has done 64 and 68 previously.

2) Takeru Kobayashi was not in contention, which dramatically lowered the expectations for the showdown. This man was once synonomous with the hot dog contest, a champion of multiple years, originally responsible for doubling the winning total. A contract dispute which turned ugly kept him in the stands.

3) One of my friends onstage must have had a bad day! I expected a bigger performance, but I'm sure next year will turn out much differently. This has been a miserable hot dog season all around.

I can only hope that next year will be a little bit better.

Party of Five

Forgiveness the lateness of my post. There's been a lot going on lately, and this blog kept getting pushed onto the back burner. I'm going to work on it a little more these days.

About a year ago - possibly a little less - I went to Venice, CA to sample an upscale burger establishment called "26 Beach." The restaurant was on the expensive side - the most basic burger runs $12. Their options are gourmet, meaning you can try a few burgers on the odd side, like peanut butter and jelly burgers, burgers with anaheim chiles, and burgers topped with egg.

I wasn't in Venice to eat the eccentric. I was there to eat the monstrosity.

This is their "Party of Five" cheeseburger. It offers five half-pound beef patties smothered in cheddar cheese and topped with onions, lettuce, tomatoes, and house sauce. For those keeping score, that's 40 oz of beef - a whole 2 1/2 pounds. It looks scrumptious, and from what I remember it tasted great if a bit greasy. How can you resist the presentation? Look at those fries in the little dish!

This was once an ordinary menu item at 26 Beach, but by the time I got there it was pulled. You could only order it if you knew about it, and I got on the inside track by scouring blogs about big burgers in the Los Angeles area. Supposedly finishers of the burger would get a coupon for a free meal on the next visit, but all I got was public admiration, gawkers, and bragging rights. I'll settle for that sometimes.

Technically, 26 Beach (along with many other restaurants) will serve you a burger of any patty denomination. You simply pay a small fee for each piece of beef you pile on. People who frequent In N Out or EZ Take-Out Burger know this pretty well. This was cooler because it used to be offered as an official, set menu item.

I only needed 20 minutes to finish the combo. The waiter remarked that it was apparently no challenge at all!

Maybe they need to consider a Party of Ten.....

Double Trouble in Simi Valley

There's a few of those old-time diners out there. It's a great change of pace from the mass production food machine we call fast food.

Late in 2009, I ventured into Simi Valley and visited Scheck and Shay's Rockin' Diner. It has all the charm of those old 1950s burger-and-shake style places, right down to the colorful decor and salt shakers. The only thing that's out of place is the self-serve soda machine, but then the server explained to me that the location had formerly been a Fatburger. Go figure!

I found out about this place via the Eatfeats blog, which serves as a massive directory for all food portions large and beyond. I rely upon Eatfeats to find lots of my eating challenge locations. It's always safer to call ahead, though, because quite often the business in question may be defunct or the challenge item no longer offered on the menu.

Circumstances did not disappoint on this excursion. Scheck and Shay's Diner serves up a massive burger called "Da Bomb," billed on the menu as the biggest burger in the city. I don't know if that's literally true, since I did not really frequent every burger venue in Simi Valley. I simply trusted the hyperbole of the menu and made my choice.

I went all out, ordering the burger in its "Double Trouble" version, meaning that they add a second meat patty. The burger was definitely big, as the photo indicates. It really needs the steak knife to keep it from falling into a messy pile. Topped with cole slaw, American cheese, tomato, avocado, and an onion ring, it was simply delicious. The fries were awesome as well, though the "fry sauce" I was offered was certainly a new experience for me. The server called it a "Utah thing," but I'm pretty sure that the saucy concoction he brought me (ketchup with mayo, probably) has been eaten outside of Utah many times.

I needed around 8 minutes to finish the actual burger. I didn't want to go faster because it just tasted SO GOOD. I'm sure the fat content was extremely high. The server remarked that this burger was probably "a little bit much," but I wasn't complaining. It may have offered about one pound of beef. I think the overall package added a lot to the basic burger flavor.

I'm intrigued by the potential speed contest that was held last July featuring this burger. That was to celebrate the anniversary of the restaurant. Maybe they'll hold it again this year. I was told that the consumption record was about 2 1/2 minutes, which seems doable.

I could have good reason to visit Simi Valley again this summer.

2010: Nathan's in Las Vegas was Energetic!

The 10-minute hot dog speed contest held this last week, May 6, right outside the NY-NY Hotel and Casino was simply exhilarating. There was excitement on-stage: how many hot dogs would the professional newcomer Ben Monson consume? Would the other guys push him to his limits? I had little doubts about Ben's win, but I was wondering how many dogs and buns I would put down.

In my mind, I was pushing to hit 15-20 hot dogs and buns. Given my track record, I knew it was ambitious. Hot dogs are a difficult food to eat quickly, since the two components really need to be eaten separately. The strategy element can be difficult to pull off when you're under the gun and the seconds are ticking by!

I managed to finish 12 hot dogs and 11 buns in the 10-minute contest. That was good enough for 4th place out of 12 total competitors, which I thought was a decent result. The three men who finished ahead of me were all signed pros at one time or another, so their ability is hard to question. I just need to kick it up a notch if I want to hang with them at speed consumption!

In all honesty, I didn't like the particular hot dogs used. Maybe it was just the cooking.... I don't know. They had a thick skin on them, were hard to rip apart and chew, and felt very greasy. I needed a lot of water to get that stuff down. I was so thirsty afterwards (think: salt overload) that I probably drank a full gallon of water. My stomach wasn't entirely full, but I was glad the contest was over.



You can't see me in the video, because I was standing at the extreme left end of the stage.

All in all, I had a great time out there - and you know I'd do it again! Let's just hope I can do it better next time out. And once again, my thanks to the crowd. It wouldn't have been the same without them.

The View from the Stage is Incredible

There's nothing like viewing the world from the contest stage.

 
Shakespeare once wrote that all the world's a stage, and the people on it are merely players. That may be. During a speed eating contest, there is a very real stage... and a fortunate dozen souls get to occupy it, fighting for a small piece of glory.

The rush of performing in front of an enthusiastic, cheering crowd almost escapes description. There's a tremendous rush of adrenaline. You feel this urge to give the people what they want, pull out all the stops, and put on a display worthy of their time and attention.

 I can only imagine what it feels like to achieve victory in these conditions.... to have people celebrating your name in a public gathering. I've been thrilled to pull off challenge victories in small restaurants, with maybe a dozen individuals singing your praises.

As an afterthought.... is it just me, or is there something odd about people treating a speed eating contest as if it were some kind of sporting spectacle?

The number of people who came out to watch the 2009 Nathan's Famous qualifiers in Las Vegas, NV and Tempe, AZ was simply astounding. No more than high hundreds probably, but they made the contest a true thrill. I felt less like a messy eater and more like an entertainer. The crowd is in my gratitude for that.

Will I ever be victorious on the contest stage? Can I pull out all the stops, and blow past my formidable rivals? I don't know right now. But I'll certainly put forth my damned best, with so many people watching!

Hot Dog Speed Run

I've been practicing for the upcoming Nathan's 2010 Hot Dog Eating Contest Qualifiying Circuit.....



This was the first time I actually recorded myself attempting to "speed eat," though other people have recorded me participating in eating contests.

Looking at my video, I realize that I spent way too much time on the buns. I'm going to have to get better about that during my next practice session.

I managed to eat two hot dogs and buns in 1:20, which would be extrapolated to 15 hdbs (the semi-official abbrieviation for hot dogs and buns in the eating world) in the ten minute contest run. This assumes I can maintain a constant speed for the duration of the contest. Some people actually speed up as a contest goes on. I gotta hope for that!

I figured it made sense to practice with a small number of hdbs, since otherwise I'd be ingesting huge amounts of calories for no real benefit.

My goal on the contest stage is to put away 15-20 hdbs. I'm hoping I can get there!