Long Day in Vegas

The morning after driving 55 for nachos, I needed an efficient workout to get over the food hangover. My stomach still felt heavy. And the sense of dehydration was strong. Mixing the treadmill with a whole-body weight circuit, I came out of the gym feeling recharged.

It was time to support my friend. I drove over the New York-New York Hotel and Casino, sight of the planned qualifying contest. They put on quite a few minor events before the professionals get down to business. Employees of different casinos square off, they have cops vs firefighters, just a lot of fun community stuff like that.

There was one last chance to plead my case for a spot in the contest. My bid failed, but I did manage to sneak into an amateur team event and ate 8.5 hdbs in 5 minutes. It was exciting to be onstage in front of the Vegas crowd, if only for a moment.

 

The end of the contest left me pumped up and bewildered. Everyone seemed to have other things to do, which is understandable, given the importance of the contest and the magnetism of Sin City. So, it was time for me to make my own adventure.

I ended up at a small yogurt shop named, appropriately, "I Love Yogurt." It's located about 15 miles off the Strip within Las Vegas city limits. The place boasts an impressive 80s theme. Music, video game characters, Simon game stations... it was like being 8 years old all over again.

Here I am, posing with their 100 oz "Devo Hat Challenge." That's a plastic Devo hat filled with frozen yogurt and four toppings. You pick two yogurt flavors and two toppings, the server picks the rest, and you get 30 minutes to do battle. It's $20 if you fail.

The server "conspired" against me by selecting some difficult toppings: gummy worms and hard candies. Cold foods are no trouble to me, but those chewy candies are something else. I swallowed huge chunks of frozen yogurt to force down the candies. There were some moments of discomfort, but nothing serious.

And it was all over in less than 14 minutes. Apparently, this was a new record, beating out the 20-minute feat established some months back by some guy wearing a tie. My mouth was frozen. My throat felt like ice. But I felt like a winner.

Afterward, I went to hang out with my friend and had a great time walking across the Strip and through several casinos. It was an awesome night.

On my way home that same night, I decided to go off the Strip and visit Longhorn Casino. They're the only 24-hour restaurant I know of that features a round-the-clock burger challenge.

The Chuckwagon Challenge is a 1 lb burger, custom bun with all the fixings, and a side of your choice (I picked cole slaw) for $10. There's no time limit. Winners get a fancy certificate describing their insanity. I'd never done a challenge after 10pm before, and for whatever reason (at 2am) this irrational action completely struck my fancy. Maybe I was sad. Or tired. Whatever.

It tasted great. Maybe I needed wholesome food after all that sugar at the yogurt shop. The toasted bun was especially nice. My last meal of the Vegas trip was over in roughly 30 minutes.

I walked out, got back in my car, and began the 230-mile haul back to San Bernardino.

Home again.

The B3

The Big Badass Burrito - also known as the B3 - is one of those challenges you just can't pass up. It's only available at the NASCAR Cafe in the Sahara Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

For the details... it is billed as a 2-foot, 6-lb burrito. Signs in the restaurant area describe it as "child-sized." This burrito caught my attention because of its weight. I had demolished several 5-lb burritos by the time press releases were done for the B3. Surely, my stomach could handle another pound.

There was but one way to found out. The time was October 2009. Exact dates escape me, but I didn't have work the next day, which was a fortunate turn.

The NASCAR Cafe runs a pretty good gimmick with the burrito challenge. They have a 3-table challenge area roped off from the rest of the dining space. Challengers take their spots in this little area and basically open themselves up to the attention (or ridicule) of the passersby... many of whom are a bit under the influence.

This is a challenge setup done right. Too many restaurants offer up their eating challenges as an afterthought. Not in Vegas.

The Big Badass Burrito is composed of steak, beans, rice, cheese, jalapenos, black olives, several tortillas, a few dollops of sour cream and guacamole, and liberally doused with cheese sauce and more olives. It represents a slice of Tex-Mex cuisine. At $20, it's not a bad deal.

Finish it in 90 minutes and it's free, along with a cool t-shirt and unlimited rides on the NASCAR roller coaster.

Losers get their picture taken in a pink "Weenie" t-shirt. And they get a nice bill for $20, in addition to a full stomach and the attendant embarassment of being photographed in the Weenie shirt.

Once the behemoth was set down before me, I went to work. This was before I developed any sort of technique, so I was daintily proceeding with a fork and knife.


The burrito seemed very fluidy inside, but there was just so much steak. Progress was much slower than anything you'd hope for.

Passersby gathered around once I reached the 75-80% mark. Several people predicted I would win, while one guy with a skateboard said right to my face: "Dude, you're gonna lose. That thing is huge."

One casino employee was almost giddy with excitement. "I've never seen anyone finish this burrito. I didn't believe it was possible. And now I'm gonna see it happen!"

Wow. Is that what passes for excitement? In Vegas??

What's wrong with these people?

I completed the B3 at the 70 minute mark, becoming the 17th individual to do so since the challenge was unveiled. Compare that to the roughly 900 who had already failed it at that point.


Happy to be victorious, but 70 minutes was a bit disappointing. Maybe I'll conquer it again one day.

Several people in the restaurant wanted to take photos with me. Again, that's behavior I will never understand. Why in the world would ANYONE celebrate the consumption of a child-sized meal?

One day I'll go back and tangle with the B3 again. My second attempt didn't go so well, mostly because the burrito was much heavier and denser. Far more steak packed in... but more about that in a future post.


Definitely a noteworthy challenge!

Sin City

Last weekend, I paid tribute to a friend who recently moved on. He loved Las Vegas - everything about it, from the excess, to the bright lights, to the fact it never shut down. The city has much less hold on my imagination, but I could find no better way to honor him than to visit his "second home."

We discussed doing eating challenges together, but since the opportunity did not present itself I chose to dedicate a few to his memory. He would have appreciated that... an uncommon artist simply working through a different medium. Picasso worked with paint. I work with plates.


Anyway, I decided to run a gauntlet of challenges that day. My official designation for this attempt would be the "Triple Monson." Keep in mind that "to pull a Monson" means that you successfully completed two challenges a few hours apart. Could I push it to 3?

My day began at Emily's Diner, located in the Fortune Casino just outside Vegas in Henderson, Nevada. It's a nice little spot, totally smelled like smoke, and was full of anxious gamblers. I don't smoke or gamble, but I was there for their 3-lb+ Colossus Burger Challenge. Finish it in 20 minutes, and it's on the house ($20 price tag) along with a nifty shirt and your pic on the wall.

3 lbs of beef is intimidating up close, but I do pretty well with patty stacks. Just unpack it, bite, swallow. The whole burger tower vanished in 10 minutes flat. I outdid myself on this one. No joke, I probably could have gone double or nothing on this burger challenge. It tasted delicious too.


An hour later, I went over to Mr. D's Frozen Custard (in Henderson) to get dessert. Because I thrashed the burger so quickly, I had the sensation of still being really hungry. This was no challenge, but I always read good things about the Royal Turtle Sundae and I wanted to see if it was worth the hype. It was! Vanilla custard, chocolate syrup, caramel sauce, pecans, and a cherry for $5 and change.... probably 12-14 ounces of sugary goodness. And it was worth every penny.

What next? Another challenge of course. It was a toss-up between 100 oz of frozen yogurt and a 24" sandwich. The sandwich won out, because I didn't feel like another sugar rush.


About an hour later, I ventured over to Johnny McGuire's Deli in Las Vegas proper. Now, I was in the city of sin. Johnny McGuire's features a 24" sandwich challenge. Eat it all in 40 minutes to get a free meal, a t-shirt, and your name on a "Wall of Shame" plaque. Since it is Vegas, the challenge features a special punitive twist: failed challenge attempts pay double.. meaning that losers would shell out $50 for an otherwise $25 sandwich. Yikes.

The gambling motif is nice, but the message to me was clear: "DONT LOSE!"


This is a variable challenge in that you can pick any sandwich off the preset menu, provided that it comes loaded with all the vegetables. I've completed the challenge before with zesty turkey, but I wanted a change of pace this time and went with grilled pastrami and swiss instead.

Hmmmm.... grilled pastrami and swiss was not the world's best decision. It was just really dense and heavy. Keep in mind that this sandwich routinely clocks in between 4.5 and 5 lbs, and I already had 4+ lbs rolling through.

I steeled my body... reminded myself why I was here, what I was doing. Couldn't fail.... so I cranked hard to finish at 33:49. Pulled the Monson with several minutes to spare! Sweet!


The plaque is full, but the restaurant plans to buy a bigger one... my previous win needed just over 20 minutes. That empty stomach thing definitely helps!

Well.... I left the place feeling very tired and full. Victory does not come free, even if the food does. I wandered down to the Strip to kill time and give my body a chance to digest. The drive took forever because of traffic, but whatever.... not like I was in a rush or anything.

Pulled into the parking lot for the Sahara Casino, and just rested there a bit. It felt pretty good to just lie back and think about nothing. But, eventually, I would start walking around.


Three brave souls gave it all against the "Big Badass Burrito" at the NASCAR Cafe. Seriously, it's gotta weigh more than the advertised 6 lbs... but either way I was in no shape to tangle with the B3... just watched and kept on walking.

(Photo courtesy Naked City Pizza facebook)

My last stop of the night (in another 4 hours) was Naked City Pizza, located inside of Moon Doggie's Bar a few miles off the strip. They were debuting a NY-style sheet pizza challenge that night - 24" x 16", 4 toppings, 10 lbs of pizza for two people in 30 minutes. Winners would get a free shirt and a clean bill ($35)... though obviously no promise of a clean bill of health with all that cheese and grease. This is the equivalent of two 18" thick-crust pizzas.

My partner for the challenge was Vegas local Tom Gilbert.... he totally dominated the proceedings. I was lucky to get down just over 25% (or 2.5 lbs) in the 17 minutes it took him to mow through the other three-quarters. No doubt, he could have done this thing solo!

In fact, Tom was angling to do a "double or nothing" wager with the owner, but I was in no shape to take on another pizza. We settled instead for dessert: fried dough covered in confectioner's sugar. Mmmmmm.....


Probably, probably.... I should have skipped this. But what the hell, it couldn't have been more than another 2-3 ounces. And it was better than I expected. Ice cream would have been sweeter though.

We became the first team to successfully take down the "Frickin' Huge Pizza Challenge." Another team took a shot after us, but it wasn't very pretty.... I will spare you those details.

The night ended on a social note. It's always a wonderful experience to meet a new personality in competitive eating, particularly when they're a bit more accomplished than you are. It reminds me that there's still room to grow.

On a personal note, I was ecstatic. Three successful challenges and two desserts in a 12-hour span was certainly a new level for me. I felt down about not going faster on the pizza, but it's really hard to complain under the circumstances. I would estimate my total consumption that day at or above 11 lbs.

The drive home through dense fog was certainly a lot less enjoyable. But, I think I put up a fitting tribute in the City of Sin.

I feel I lived up to Matt Cohen's new nickname for me: Mr. Mass Consumption.

2010: Nathan's in Las Vegas was Energetic!

The 10-minute hot dog speed contest held this last week, May 6, right outside the NY-NY Hotel and Casino was simply exhilarating. There was excitement on-stage: how many hot dogs would the professional newcomer Ben Monson consume? Would the other guys push him to his limits? I had little doubts about Ben's win, but I was wondering how many dogs and buns I would put down.

In my mind, I was pushing to hit 15-20 hot dogs and buns. Given my track record, I knew it was ambitious. Hot dogs are a difficult food to eat quickly, since the two components really need to be eaten separately. The strategy element can be difficult to pull off when you're under the gun and the seconds are ticking by!

I managed to finish 12 hot dogs and 11 buns in the 10-minute contest. That was good enough for 4th place out of 12 total competitors, which I thought was a decent result. The three men who finished ahead of me were all signed pros at one time or another, so their ability is hard to question. I just need to kick it up a notch if I want to hang with them at speed consumption!

In all honesty, I didn't like the particular hot dogs used. Maybe it was just the cooking.... I don't know. They had a thick skin on them, were hard to rip apart and chew, and felt very greasy. I needed a lot of water to get that stuff down. I was so thirsty afterwards (think: salt overload) that I probably drank a full gallon of water. My stomach wasn't entirely full, but I was glad the contest was over.



You can't see me in the video, because I was standing at the extreme left end of the stage.

All in all, I had a great time out there - and you know I'd do it again! Let's just hope I can do it better next time out. And once again, my thanks to the crowd. It wouldn't have been the same without them.