Last weekend, I paid tribute to a friend who recently moved on. He loved Las Vegas - everything about it, from the excess, to the bright lights, to the fact it never shut down. The city has much less hold on my imagination, but I could find no better way to honor him than to visit his "second home."
We discussed doing eating challenges together, but since the opportunity did not present itself I chose to dedicate a few to his memory. He would have appreciated that... an uncommon artist simply working through a different medium. Picasso worked with paint. I work with plates.
Anyway, I decided to run a gauntlet of challenges that day. My official designation for this attempt would be the "Triple Monson." Keep in mind that "to pull a Monson" means that you successfully completed two challenges a few hours apart. Could I push it to 3?
My day began at Emily's Diner, located in the Fortune Casino just outside Vegas in Henderson, Nevada. It's a nice little spot, totally smelled like smoke, and was full of anxious gamblers. I don't smoke or gamble, but I was there for their 3-lb+ Colossus Burger Challenge. Finish it in 20 minutes, and it's on the house ($20 price tag) along with a nifty shirt and your pic on the wall.
3 lbs of beef is intimidating up close, but I do pretty well with patty stacks. Just unpack it, bite, swallow. The whole burger tower vanished in 10 minutes flat. I outdid myself on this one. No joke, I probably could have gone double or nothing on this burger challenge. It tasted delicious too.
An hour later, I went over to Mr. D's Frozen Custard (in Henderson) to get dessert. Because I thrashed the burger so quickly, I had the sensation of still being
really hungry. This was no challenge, but I always read good things about the Royal Turtle Sundae and I wanted to see if it was worth the hype. It was! Vanilla custard, chocolate syrup, caramel sauce, pecans, and a cherry for $5 and change.... probably 12-14 ounces of sugary goodness. And it was worth every penny.
What next? Another challenge of course. It was a toss-up between 100 oz of frozen yogurt and a 24" sandwich. The sandwich won out, because I didn't feel like another sugar rush.
About an hour later, I ventured over to Johnny McGuire's Deli in Las Vegas proper.
Now, I was in the city of sin. Johnny McGuire's features a 24" sandwich challenge. Eat it all in 40 minutes to get a free meal, a t-shirt, and your name on a "Wall of Shame" plaque. Since it is Vegas, the challenge features a special punitive twist: failed challenge attempts pay double.. meaning that losers would shell out $50 for an otherwise $25 sandwich. Yikes.
The gambling motif is nice, but the message to me was clear: "DONT LOSE!"
This is a variable challenge in that you can pick any sandwich off the preset menu, provided that it comes loaded with all the vegetables. I've completed the challenge before with zesty turkey, but I wanted a change of pace this time and went with grilled pastrami and swiss instead.
Hmmmm.... grilled pastrami and swiss was not the world's best decision. It was just
really dense and heavy. Keep in mind that this sandwich routinely clocks in between 4.5 and 5 lbs, and I already had 4+ lbs rolling through.
I steeled my body... reminded myself why I was here, what I was doing. Couldn't fail.... so I cranked hard to finish at 33:49. Pulled the Monson with several minutes to spare! Sweet!
The plaque is full, but the restaurant plans to buy a bigger one... my previous win needed just over 20 minutes. That empty stomach thing definitely helps!
Well.... I left the place feeling very tired and full. Victory does not come free, even if the food does. I wandered down to the Strip to kill time and give my body a chance to digest. The drive took forever because of traffic, but whatever.... not like I was in a rush or anything.
Pulled into the parking lot for the Sahara Casino, and just rested there a bit. It felt pretty good to just lie back and think about nothing. But, eventually, I would start walking around.
Three brave souls gave it all against the "Big Badass Burrito" at the NASCAR Cafe. Seriously, it's gotta weigh more than the advertised 6 lbs... but either way I was in no shape to tangle with the B3... just watched and kept on walking.
(Photo courtesy Naked City Pizza facebook)My last stop of the night (in another 4 hours) was Naked City Pizza, located inside of Moon Doggie's Bar a few miles off the strip. They were debuting a NY-style sheet pizza challenge that night - 24" x 16", 4 toppings, 10 lbs of pizza for two people in 30 minutes. Winners would get a free shirt and a clean bill ($35)... though obviously no promise of a clean bill of health with all that cheese and grease. This is the equivalent of two 18" thick-crust pizzas.
My partner for the challenge was Vegas local Tom Gilbert.... he totally dominated the proceedings. I was lucky to get down just over 25% (or 2.5 lbs) in the 17 minutes it took him to mow through the other three-quarters. No doubt, he could have done this thing solo!
In fact, Tom was angling to do a "double or nothing" wager with the owner, but I was in no shape to take on another pizza. We settled instead for dessert: fried dough covered in confectioner's sugar. Mmmmmm.....
Probably, probably.... I should have skipped this. But what the hell, it couldn't have been more than another 2-3 ounces. And it was better than I expected. Ice cream would have been sweeter though.
We became the first team to successfully take down the "Frickin' Huge Pizza Challenge." Another team took a shot after us, but it wasn't very pretty.... I will spare you those details.
The night ended on a social note. It's always a wonderful experience to meet a new personality in competitive eating, particularly when they're a bit more accomplished than you are. It reminds me that there's still room to grow.
On a personal note, I was ecstatic. Three successful challenges and two desserts in a 12-hour span was certainly a new level for me. I felt down about not going faster on the pizza, but it's really hard to complain under the circumstances. I would estimate my total consumption that day at or above 11 lbs.
The drive home through dense fog was certainly a lot less enjoyable. But, I think I put up a fitting tribute in the City of Sin.
I feel I lived up to Matt Cohen's new nickname for me: Mr. Mass Consumption.
