Chili Fries En Masse

The picture does not do the plate justice. This "appetizer" at Heroes Bar & Grill in Fullerton, CA easily approaches 4 lbs. Most servers try to convince you order the half-size. At $11.95, it's a bargain for sensible diners who decide to share their food.

It's not an official eating challenge. Not yet, at least.

Two Sundays ago, Pablo Martinez and I converged upon Heroes to knock out their 6-pancake challenge in short order. We ended up splitting the leftovers of this platter after our challenges. Video coming shortly.

Raising the Bar

The bar was set at 41 pancakes last night. Johnnie Excel and I have started this game of one-upsmanship recently, and it shows no signs of vanishing into the cold night.

It started a long time ago, really. We were curious as to who would win a capacity battle between the two of us. Unfortunately, differences in our skill sets made most comparisons impossible. Excel does well in speed contests, whereas I achieve my best in longer competitions.

We discussed meeting at a buffet. Nothing really came of that (yet). We clashed recently at Chick Fil A's nugget eating contest, but that really wasn't a fair test. Chicken nuggets aren't Johnnie's favorite food and the salt content deterred most participants from going for broke.

But pancakes are a whole other matter. We both love them. Luckily, Denny's runs a $4 promotion for all-you-can-eat pancakes. Finally, there's a potential proving ground for us.

Last year, I was featured in the local Yucca Valley newspaper for eating 33 pancakes at Denny's in 90 minutes. Now, Johnnie has raised the bar to 41 hotcakes in two hours. Can I push it to 45?

And yes, those are pictures of hot dogs up above. I will leave the symbolic meaning up to you.

Looking Down the Pike

When 2012 started, there were a few goals floating in my mind. One was to find an eating challenge that would defeat me. In that aim, I have succeeded. The first fail of 2012 was spectacular. It warrants its own post and there will be pics and video of it.

Closer at hand now is the Chick Fil A nugget eating contest this Saturday, in La Habra. I'm the three-time defending champion with a house record of 206 nuggets. My competition this time is impressive: Johnnie Excel, The Spicialist, and quite possibly Tom Gilbert. I will consider it a major triumph if I win. I don't doubt the 206 nugget record will be shattered by more than one of us.

My minimum goal is to put away 230 nuggets in the two hours. I am linking a charitable donation to my performance in the nugget contest, so I'm hoping my fellows and my own internal drive push me to put up a huge number.

And beyond that, I haven't forgotten that February is National Pancake Month. I'm hoping to do something outrageous in that vein before the Ides of March are upon us.

But first... chicken nuggets await.

Pancake Gauntlet

Friday evening found me visiting the International House of Pancakes in San Bernardino. For several years now, the annual $4.99 all-you-can-eat pancake had rolled through without attracting too much attention. 2011 would be different. Mostly because the smaller challenges don't really.... well.... pose a challenge for me.

This is the year to push things a little bit further. No better way than to dive into pancakes. It's not a food that especially strikes my fancy. I have difficulty with grains and starches so I knew this would push my tolerance.


The delivery concept is simple enough. Your server brings you three pancakes and follows up with three more at a time until you've had enough. This is remarkably similar to the AYCE program Denny's runs with their own pancakes.

Anyone hoping to achieve hot cake greatness is going to need to speed up the process considerably if they're hoping to put up some big numbers. You can't just spend 3-4 hours waiting for small orders of buttermilk pancakes to arrive.

So I told the server I wanted 30 pancakes.

The look on her face was priceless. I wish someone had a camera handy. She told me they could bring out six at a time, but even then the process wasn't terribly rapid. I would wait long moments after finishing my first few orders. That was precious time lost! Instead of just sitting there letting your stomach settle, you need to keep eating.


Just looking at these pictures makes me feel heavy. The experience was roughly what you would expect. Easy in the beginning, but increasingly brutal as time wears on. I used maple and strawberry syrup to vary the taste but that only goes so far. The buttermilk is overpowering and the texture is eventually unappealing. :(

For a change of pace, I reported my progress via Mobile Facebook during the eating process. When I completed 27 pancakes, that was already a personal best. But I needed to push. Had to break 30... so one more order was brought out.

33 pancakes was all that I could stand. Done and done. Ironically, all the food I consumed probably did not exceed 2.5 lbs. Bread is simply a different animal. Give me 10 lbs of ice cream any day.

According to the IHOP menu, each order of 3 pancakes packs an impressive 490 calories. Did I really put down almost 5400 calories?? It didn't feel like it.

The server was amazed. But apparently the record for that IHOP location was an astounding 70 pancakes, consumed by an anonymous male.

11,000+ calories in pancakes? Flour? That's ludicrous. But still, no candidate for the 20k Club.

As far as pancakes go, I'm done. Check back with me in a year.

25 Pancakes!

Today's post is dedicated to XeRoFuN, a close friend much in my thoughts as of late. Get well soon!

Sometimes, work scheduling doesn't come off as smoothly as it should. You're left stranded in some city, far away from home... but it isn't worth going home and coming back for the actual shift several hours later. You gotta hang around.

What do you do? How can you waste four hours of your life without looking back?

You're probably going to find several things to do, because four hours is a lot. I went to the gym, drank a protein shake, and rested in my car as I waited patiently for my cell phone to recharge.

Still two hours to go. Had to bite the bullet. Finally, I decided to take up what I was discussing with a friend and attempt to go the distance with all-you-can-eat (AYCE) pancakes at Denny's.

It's not a bad deal at $4 - especially if you can eat more than four, since Denny's will gladly sell you two pancakes for $2. A little basic math helps sometimes.

They start you out with three cakes, then they're supposed to bring out two at a time until you're satiated with buttermilk goodness. The picture above is of the first round. They don't look particularly appealing, all disheveled with the butter running down, but they tasted the way good pancakes should: rich, fluffy, and not burned.


The next round of two looked significantly nicer... but I realized this was no way to test myself. If I was going to eat a lot of them, I'd need them to come out faster. So, taking advantage of the dead hour in the restaurant (it was 3:14 PM on a Monday and I was the only one ordering food), I asked the server if a steady stream of pancakes could come from the kitchen.


And how! Plates of four and two, with no trouble at all. I appreciated the prompt, efficient service in this Denny's location. When I finished this round, the server asked if I wanted more. The server surprised me by asking for a number to bring out. No doubt in her mind now that this food would be eaten!

Going for broke, I asked for.... 12. She didn't bat an eye either. Walked over to the kitchen and placed the order. Which is where the most comical part of this story comes in. I was seated next to the kitchen, within the earshot of some very bored short-order cooks (keeping in mind I was the only person ordering anything).

When the cook read the order for the dozen flapjacks, he said aloud: "This order must be to go."

"Oh, no," the server replied. "We got a customer sittin' in here eatin',"

I had to resist the urge to burst out laughing at what I heard next from the kitchen.

"What is this, an eating contest or something!?"


Ask, and ye shall receive! 12 pancakes at one time! A little burned, but still good enough to eat. Using liberal amounts of strawberry jam, I created what can best be described as really doughy strawberry shortcake.

I called it a day with a final round of two. Honestly, the taste of flour and buttermilk was starting to become repulsive. If this was a contest or actual challenge I would have pushed to the limit - but I had work later on, and this was mostly just to kill time.

Receiving 25 pancakes in about a 40 minute span was remarkable too. Couldn't have done that during the breakfast rush!

(Sharp eyes will notice that the last photo is a repeat. My cell phone battery died so I couldn't snap that last picture)

Judging from nutritional info published online, this AYCE run provided me with roughly 3,500 calories and 500-600g of carbs. Pancakes aren't especially known for their protein content, but I managed to take in over 80g this way.

It sure felt like a good time to go for a run.
______
Future note: the next post will include links to video footage of a powerhouse team destroying a 30" pizza in 6 minutes. Though I was not directly involved, it was incredibly impressive and an honor to be on hand with a camera.

A Very Big Pancake in Fresno

Fresno is a beautiful city.

It takes some time to appreciate that. Fresno is hidden beyond hundreds of miles of paved highway and farmland on all sides. But once you get to the city, you can see that it is full of life and worth visiting.

I found Fresno on my way back from another one of my famous drives up north. Returning from San Jose, I pulled through Gilroy to sample some of that famous garlic ice cream (it's delicious!) and decided to take Highway 152 east all the way to the great city of Fresno.

Why would I venture to Fresno, you ask? Isn't it the gateway to some famous tree park? Well, maybe. But what brought me to Fresno was the same pull that brought me to the Bay Area a week earlier.

That's right.... food. Oversized portions of food, to be exact. Some restaurant or another was offering a grotesquely large meal that would be free if I could eat it all in a set period of time. It's my hobby, after all. I am a competitive eater.

And what could be better than eating for free?

(Money, fame, notoriety, power . . . those would sweeten the deal, but alas, none of those were up for grabs this time out. I would have to settle for a clean bill)

I actually had a good trip in Northern California. I visited the Fisherman's Wharf in San Francisco, got caught up in the typical tourist traps, sampled Ghirardelli's ice cream, and even conquered three eating challenges before the necessity of returning to ordinary life caught up with me.

This necessity -- to go home -- brought me to Fresno. I drove east along highway 152 and found myself in a beautiful city, complete with street lights, paved roads, concrete buildings, sunlight, and snow-capped mountains in the distance.

I could have called Fresno home.... except for the fact that my actual home was some 400 miles south.

What called my name in the great city of Fresno was a little breakfast spot called "Batter Up Pancakes." Yes, the baseball theme is obvious, complete with the picture of a little-boy-swinging-a-baseball-bat as the shop's icon -- all over the walls, door, and menu -- but it was cute. I like how the word "batter" was also a pun referring to the wet doughy substance that eventually became pancakes after you applied them to a griddle.

Batter Up Pancakes was offering a breakfast feast called "The Grand Slam Challenge," which is really just ten scrambled eggs with diced potatoes and cheese atop a 25-ounce pancake. The menu said it should feed 4-6 persons, but it would be free to any diner who could stomach it alone.

I'm always up for a challenge!

But there was more, the server told me. This particular challenge had never been answered before. The closest anyone had come was about halfway, and that particular diner needed to use a garbage can after his 45-minute time limit expired.

I was intrigued by this place before I even placed my order. The short-order cooks flipped oversized pancakes using large spatulas in clear view of the customers. I couldn't tell how big the flapjacks were, but they were big! Paul Bunyan would have been proud.

"So," I asked the cashier as I paid for meal, "will I be eating one of those pancakes?"

"Oh, no," she responded without missing a beat. "You'll be eating five of our regular pancakes!"

Holy hell! Their basic pancake weighed in at five ounces! What was I in for, attempting to eat a 25-ounce pancake? It would take me days to chew through all that flour.

I sat down determined to make history in Fresno. I would be the first person to eat this insane breakfast meal.

Okay, some honesty is in order now. I really didn't know if I could do it right there at the beginning. I had conquered many eating challenges before, but this was something I had never encountered.

This was an original concoction!

It looked beautiful and delicious.

I never knew what ten scrambled eggs looked like before. Now I knew.

I never knew what a 25-ounce pancake looked like before. Now I knew.

Looking at the plate brought out in front of me, I felt smarter. Enlightened.

I felt hungry! I hadn't eaten since the previous evening. It was 12:00 noon, and here was 4-5 pounds of scrumptious grub arranged in front of me.

People crowded around to take photos, as usual. I'm used to being the total public spectacle when I take on these food challenges.

The manager of the restaurant explained the rules to me. Nothing fancy - you have 45 minutes to eat this thing, no bathroom breaks, you can't leave the restaurant, and you can't get help. Eat it all and it's free.

He started the timer - and I dug in!

It was absolutely delicious, as I recall. I concentrated on the egg medley, taking in spoonful after warm spoonful until I had rendered the 1.5 pound pancake naked and helpless. I blazed through the egg, potato, and cheese mix in barely 12 minutes. I would have plenty of time to eat the pancake.

Of course, chomping through that much bread is much harder than it looks. I tore off huge chunks of the pancake and ate it with my hands. I wasn't chancing it by looking dainty and using silverware. I took a bite of pancake, then took a good drink of water to push it down. Bite, drink, swallow.

Bite, drink, swallow. Bite, drink, swallow.

When I had about half the pancake left, I felt that I couldn't take another bite. My mouth was dry as a bone.... my stomach felt stuffed up with floury evil. But I was determined not to lose! With the whole restaurant watching me, I pushed on.... I poured my water cup all over the remaining pancake and let it soak into a soft, gooey mess. I kept eating.

I finished the meal at the 42nd minute. I made history in Fresno!

The restaurant crowd exploded into cheers and applause. No one had seen this done before. No one believed it was possible.

I became some sort of local eating star. Everyone wanted to take my picture with the empty plate. Nearly every employee of the restaurant came out to shake my hand. One of them took my name and picture and gave me some face-time on Facebook.

My name and picture are the first to adorn Batter Up Pancakes' "Wall of Fame." I set the standard that day. I was the champion! (I'm exaggerating this a bit, but let me have my moment!)

I received my refund, a souvenir mug, a free t-shirt, and an all-around salute.

I never saw as many smiling faces as I saw that day.

Fresno - such a beautiful city, and so many memories.