3 Men, 21 lbs of Pudding

Have you ever had the urge to gather up two of your buddies, crack open three huge cans of pudding, and see who could eat the most in 30 minutes?

Yeah, the thought has struck my mind from time to time. Fortunately no one has taken me up on the offer. Those oversized industrial cans of pudding probably aren't that tasty.

Enter the illustrious characters of Wreckless Eating. These guys specialize in eating the disgusting and the unexpected. Think of them as the forgotten segment of competitive eating. Most of us want to eat a ton, and preferably quickly, but these guys really just want to shock you. I'm developing a taste for it. Fear Factor meets Man V Food.

Matt Zion, Chris Wreckless, and Havik endured a long distance battle to determine WE Pudding Champion of 2012. I was sidelined from the challenge mostly because my specialty is mass consumption. My role in the video is limited to coaching.

But, there's a silver lining. I got in the golden line: "Go 'Til You Blow," which may become the new mantra of competitive eaters everywhere. Anyone who's been involved in an eating contest knows what I'm talking about.

Wreckless at Christmas

Sometimes I have a random sense of humor. This year I missed Halloween, but I won't miss Christmas. Merry Christmas to all. May 2012 shine brightly.

Today also marked my debut on Wreckless Eating, a YouTube channel hosted by Matt Zion and Chris Wreckless showcasing the consumption of the bizarre.



In my debut, I teamed with Chris Wreckless to take on an 8 lb drum of Hershey's chooclate syrup. We absoultely mauled the extreme sugar challenge in just over two minutes. It was a fun sprint down chocolate lane.

Chris Wreckless is mostly unknown to the competitive eating community, but he has had a few run-ins with restaurant challenges. He's handled the 5 lb King Ranch Burrito at La Casa Garcia in Anaheim. At the time, he aimed to break the 11:30 house record set by Damon Wells during his pre-IFOCE days. The time goal was elusive but Chris was victorious.

Photo courtesy Wreckless Eating / Matt Zion

As a guess, I'd place Chris Wreckless' capacity at 5-6 lbs. His mass consumption days sure aren't over. We have plans in motion for more future team challenges. Without a doubt, I look forward to getting "wreckless" again.

Be sure to look for the debut of their main show. They produce several segments every month. Their channel is always turning out new content. Some vile, some wild, but always entertaining.

What a Sugar Rush

"Well, what else is possible?"

One of my students wanted to know (for his journalism class) what types of challenges competitive eaters participated in. I mentioned the hot wing challenges. Then I talked about speed challenges. That didn't impress him. Then I brought up volume challenges, but he wasn't moved.

Then, I let my mind drift. We have intensely hot challenges... why don't we have intensely sweet challenges? Foods that pack an insane amount of sugar into a small volume. The concept was instantly delicious. We did a little research, and a combination of suitable foods was selected for me to try.

The idea was to have a selection of foods that wouldn't be ridiculously heavy, but whose sugar content would stop cold most people who tried it. Sweet challenges are among my favorite, so I figured this was a worthy experiment.

900 grams of sweet, sugary hell.

The best aspect of the video is all the contortions my face goes through as the sugar rush hits me. And it hit HARD. The "intensity of sweet" challenge is much harder than I thought it would be.

Everyone agreed it was profoundly ridiculous, and not even I will be attempting that again.

Video: 20,000 Calorie Challenge

Finally, here's the video of the 20k calorie challenge. Some referred to it as the 20k intestinal run. Trail mix was simply a bad choice for a volume challenge. The pumpkin ice cream made the experience palatable at least.

The video is more or less a parody of "Epic Meal Time" crossed with Man v Food. My students did a good job asking questions and providing commentary during the challenge. This production will likely serve as the starting point for a multimedia club at my school. Hopefully we will find more interesting things to record besides food.

Fishy Choice

I know some people who won't touch sushi at the supermarket. Well.. as long as it's still edible...

Epic Fail Time

20,000 calories may be possible in one meal, but you aren't going to get there by eating 8 lbs of trail mix. I learned that the "hard" way last Friday. Everything in the bag required laborious chewing. Nothing softened, even doused in pumpkin ice cream.

The concept was still a success. It was arranged as a school-community event in Yucca Valley, my students were invited to watch and complete observational assignments, and everyone else who came to watch loved it. The Hi Desert Star actually mentioned the event in last Saturday's paper. Channel 2 News in nearby Palm Springs requested event photographs and a write-up.

One of these days, I'll find an effective way to concoct an edible 20k calorie meal. Trail mix seemed smart: it's calorie dense, so you get high calorie counts without adding on a ton of weight. Maybe I'll take a cue from Johnnie Excel and load up on mayonnaise next time out.

I stopped after eating for 80 minutes... wasn't so full as much as I was tired and disgusted. Even turning the leftover portions into thick, blended smoothies didn't help. You'd be surprised, but they tasted pretty good.

In an epic encounter, food won. There's a large amount of video footage from this stunt, and it will be making its way onto YouTube shortly.

Chili Cheese Fries

It's hard to believe this blog has now reached 100 posts. This event was over 1 year in the making, but I've decided not to splash too much significance on it. I'm not even going to mention any special eating challenge or buffet run.

Chili cheese fries will be the topic of choice. Since my days in high school, this high-caloric concoction has qualified as my favorite article of junk food. Cheesy, salty, starchy, messy, greasy... these words all describe the dish I've always kept close to my stomach. I've eaten chili fries at various restaurants, and when I don't know what to get, they are my old reliable.

It would be awesome to find a chili cheese fries eating challenge.. but until then, just eating them for fun will have to do. Several years ago, I ventured to the Original Tommy's Hamburgers in Hacienda Heights with a few friends for a heavy midnight meal after work. Four orders of chili cheese fries.. easily 5 lbs of artery-clogging insanity.

The next week, when we only requested two orders of chili fries, the cashier asked if I was on a diet...

It was hard to explain.

Pancake Gauntlet

Friday evening found me visiting the International House of Pancakes in San Bernardino. For several years now, the annual $4.99 all-you-can-eat pancake had rolled through without attracting too much attention. 2011 would be different. Mostly because the smaller challenges don't really.... well.... pose a challenge for me.

This is the year to push things a little bit further. No better way than to dive into pancakes. It's not a food that especially strikes my fancy. I have difficulty with grains and starches so I knew this would push my tolerance.


The delivery concept is simple enough. Your server brings you three pancakes and follows up with three more at a time until you've had enough. This is remarkably similar to the AYCE program Denny's runs with their own pancakes.

Anyone hoping to achieve hot cake greatness is going to need to speed up the process considerably if they're hoping to put up some big numbers. You can't just spend 3-4 hours waiting for small orders of buttermilk pancakes to arrive.

So I told the server I wanted 30 pancakes.

The look on her face was priceless. I wish someone had a camera handy. She told me they could bring out six at a time, but even then the process wasn't terribly rapid. I would wait long moments after finishing my first few orders. That was precious time lost! Instead of just sitting there letting your stomach settle, you need to keep eating.


Just looking at these pictures makes me feel heavy. The experience was roughly what you would expect. Easy in the beginning, but increasingly brutal as time wears on. I used maple and strawberry syrup to vary the taste but that only goes so far. The buttermilk is overpowering and the texture is eventually unappealing. :(

For a change of pace, I reported my progress via Mobile Facebook during the eating process. When I completed 27 pancakes, that was already a personal best. But I needed to push. Had to break 30... so one more order was brought out.

33 pancakes was all that I could stand. Done and done. Ironically, all the food I consumed probably did not exceed 2.5 lbs. Bread is simply a different animal. Give me 10 lbs of ice cream any day.

According to the IHOP menu, each order of 3 pancakes packs an impressive 490 calories. Did I really put down almost 5400 calories?? It didn't feel like it.

The server was amazed. But apparently the record for that IHOP location was an astounding 70 pancakes, consumed by an anonymous male.

11,000+ calories in pancakes? Flour? That's ludicrous. But still, no candidate for the 20k Club.

As far as pancakes go, I'm done. Check back with me in a year.