25 Pancakes!

Today's post is dedicated to XeRoFuN, a close friend much in my thoughts as of late. Get well soon!

Sometimes, work scheduling doesn't come off as smoothly as it should. You're left stranded in some city, far away from home... but it isn't worth going home and coming back for the actual shift several hours later. You gotta hang around.

What do you do? How can you waste four hours of your life without looking back?

You're probably going to find several things to do, because four hours is a lot. I went to the gym, drank a protein shake, and rested in my car as I waited patiently for my cell phone to recharge.

Still two hours to go. Had to bite the bullet. Finally, I decided to take up what I was discussing with a friend and attempt to go the distance with all-you-can-eat (AYCE) pancakes at Denny's.

It's not a bad deal at $4 - especially if you can eat more than four, since Denny's will gladly sell you two pancakes for $2. A little basic math helps sometimes.

They start you out with three cakes, then they're supposed to bring out two at a time until you're satiated with buttermilk goodness. The picture above is of the first round. They don't look particularly appealing, all disheveled with the butter running down, but they tasted the way good pancakes should: rich, fluffy, and not burned.


The next round of two looked significantly nicer... but I realized this was no way to test myself. If I was going to eat a lot of them, I'd need them to come out faster. So, taking advantage of the dead hour in the restaurant (it was 3:14 PM on a Monday and I was the only one ordering food), I asked the server if a steady stream of pancakes could come from the kitchen.


And how! Plates of four and two, with no trouble at all. I appreciated the prompt, efficient service in this Denny's location. When I finished this round, the server asked if I wanted more. The server surprised me by asking for a number to bring out. No doubt in her mind now that this food would be eaten!

Going for broke, I asked for.... 12. She didn't bat an eye either. Walked over to the kitchen and placed the order. Which is where the most comical part of this story comes in. I was seated next to the kitchen, within the earshot of some very bored short-order cooks (keeping in mind I was the only person ordering anything).

When the cook read the order for the dozen flapjacks, he said aloud: "This order must be to go."

"Oh, no," the server replied. "We got a customer sittin' in here eatin',"

I had to resist the urge to burst out laughing at what I heard next from the kitchen.

"What is this, an eating contest or something!?"


Ask, and ye shall receive! 12 pancakes at one time! A little burned, but still good enough to eat. Using liberal amounts of strawberry jam, I created what can best be described as really doughy strawberry shortcake.

I called it a day with a final round of two. Honestly, the taste of flour and buttermilk was starting to become repulsive. If this was a contest or actual challenge I would have pushed to the limit - but I had work later on, and this was mostly just to kill time.

Receiving 25 pancakes in about a 40 minute span was remarkable too. Couldn't have done that during the breakfast rush!

(Sharp eyes will notice that the last photo is a repeat. My cell phone battery died so I couldn't snap that last picture)

Judging from nutritional info published online, this AYCE run provided me with roughly 3,500 calories and 500-600g of carbs. Pancakes aren't especially known for their protein content, but I managed to take in over 80g this way.

It sure felt like a good time to go for a run.
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Future note: the next post will include links to video footage of a powerhouse team destroying a 30" pizza in 6 minutes. Though I was not directly involved, it was incredibly impressive and an honor to be on hand with a camera.

The True Life of a Freak8R

I don't eat like this all the time.

Anyone who has actually watched me eat might find this hard to believe. Or maybe hard to stomach.

Tales of me are great and they are exaggerated. One friend suspected that I lived off a diet of 5-lb burritos, 12-egg omelets, 44-oz burgers, 20" pizzas, and 2-liter soda bottles.

It's the same story every time.... someone would see me eat one outlandish meal, and they would extrapolate that into my lifestyle. How else could I maintain my large consumption capacity?

The truth is out there. It's pretty simple. I eat an ordinary, humane diet most of the time. A typical day will see me consume 1800-2400 calories spread over 6-8 small meals. Six days a week, you will find me in the neighborhood gym doing strength training and cardiovascular exercise.

I stand 6'2, and weigh about 210 pounds. I'm not ridiculously muscular or waifish, but I'm also not morbidly obese. I take the condition of my physical health seriously.

It's just that - from time to time - I enjoy a good 'cheat' meal. I break the bounds of ordinary, and move into the extraordinary.

I've eaten 7000 calorie meals........ I've probably also eaten enough fat in one sitting to render most individuals senseless. I just don't make it into an everyday routine.

If I did, I'd need a much bigger pair of pants.

And, quite possibly, a doctor who makes house calls. Lots of them.

My cholesterol, heart-rate, and blood pressure numbers are in the ballpark for healthy individuals of my age range.

If I ever believed that my eating was endangering my health or life, I would give it up. Nothing is worth risking your life over. There's a million other pursuits I could pursue if I wasn't so busy pondering my next big meal.

By some miracle (okay, biology and physiology), your body is not really able to absorb the calories from food in monstrous doses. I can eat the occasional huge meal without great negative impact because of this fact. It mostly passes through - painfully sometimes - but it passes.

I might have a metabolism that's slighter higher than normal. I can't answer to that. But I do know that I have a stomach capacity that's higher than most people's.

And I enjoy being able to fill it.

I'd say that my 'cheat meals' (i.e. challenges) come about once per week. Typically, I won't eat anything else until the next day afterward.... often because it's physically impossible to stuff anything else in the tank.

I realize it's not healthy to habitually overeat and overwhelm your body. So, I have to let the machinery rest and recover.... even a star athlete can't run the marathon everyday.

I have my monster meal, and then I go back to my old diet and exercise plan.

.... get plenty of fluids, and lots of rest.

Back to the ordinary for another few days!