Facing Sancho's Challenge

Up in the high desert city of Hesperia, a small new restaurant named "Sancho's Tacos" has opened up. They haven't been around long, but I like their chances. The windows outside are extremely colorful, and the inside looks cozy. I'd say their menu offerings are authentic. They have lengua on the menu (tongue, for those of you who don't hable espanol), which is a definite plus in my book. If I have a hand in crafting my last meal on Earth, lengua will be in it.

But enough about lengua for now, we're supposed to be discussing Sancho! Sancho's offers a restaurant eating challenge - billed on the menu as a 4-lb burrito with the meat of your choice - that must be completed in 30 minutes. If you finish, the meal is on the house, your mugshot goes up on the Wall of Fame, and you get a nifty T-shirt advertising the nice little eatery on the long dusty road. Fail and you'll shell out about $20.

Unfortunately, your meat choices are limited to ground beef, steak, chicken, or carnitas. No lengua on this one. Oh well.... dream deferred, right? I went with chicken because past experiences have told me it is pretty easy to eat quickly. The cool thing is the burrito can be customized - if you don't like beans, you can swap it out for larger portions of cheese, rice, and the other stuff. I get it as is, because I like all the ingredients and I want to keep the challenge legit.

I'm suspicious as the burrito comes out. This looks a bit much for 4 pounds! Unless it's mostly hollow on the inside.... the server tells me that it's really just over 5 lbs. Is this a case of deceptive advertising? I'll let you be the judge. I came here to eat, and I'm going to let my eating speak for itself.

The inside of the burrito was stuffed with chicken, pinto beans, lettuce, tomatoes, sour cream, red rice, guacamole, cilantro and this bold enchilada sauce. I found the tortillas to be rather dry. I didn't enjoy the enchilada sauce much, as it tasted incredibly tangy. Not a bad meal at all. I was aiming for the 15-20 minute mark, but I got it done in 27 minutes. I was a bit disappointed. This was my first burrito in awhile, so perhaps I fell out of practice.


I became the second person (male) to complete this challenge in the time limit, and all I got was a full stomach and a T-shirt! I'm definitely going back to this place. The staff was friendly and warm, with better food to boot. Anyone who has a hankering for a burrito challenge needs to try this place out.

And in due time, my next post will FINALLY materialize: The Adventures of Endless Shrimp at Red Lobster!

Going Mad

Near Sacramento, there's a small town called Lodi.... right off the 5 Freeway on State Highway 12. It's a little bit away from the major metropolitan centers, involves driving through some farmland, and seems isolated, but once you get into the urban areas it's really a city like any other.

One colleague liked to tell me that if you've seen one city, you've seen them all. It doesn't matter where in the world (or country) you are. You find shopping centers, religious institutions, municipal buildings, eating holes, sewage systems, government offices. Names and spatial configurations might vary. But... a city is a city. A place where people gather to live and work, produce and consume. If only he told me that before I hit the road.

Lodi has those rows of businesses, much the same way you would find them in Hanford, Carson, or San Luis Obispo. I was there to visit a burger restaurant I had read about on EatFeats. Called Andre's Cafe and Catering, this place boasted a huge hamburger meal that would be completely free to any diner who could consume it in 30 minutes.

This behemoth of a cheeseburger is called the Madd Dogg Burger.... I guess you gotta be a little mad to order it, or mad to believe you're actually going to get it for free. It's 2 lbs of beef stacked high with double helpings of all the usual hamburger condiments.... tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, onions, pickles, and mayonnaise. You are also required to finish the side order of french fries.

The interesting element of the challenge is the fact that you can order any variation of french fries they serve - the garlic parmesan certainly sounded tasty, but I know that it's never a good idea to eat more on a challenge than you have to! Less is more, in this case. It's just a very basic strategy when it comes to restaurant eating challenges. I'm sure they wouldn't have minded if I asked for the chili fries, because I would have been the damn fool trying to cram down an extra pound of food.

As a side note, I vastly prefer hamburger challenges that feature multiple meat patties as opposed to one huge slab of beef. The patties are cooked separately, come out juicier and tastier, are easier to chew and swallow, and require far less liquid to get through. Giant slabs of beef, by contrast, tend to be baked until the point of dry blandness. They're hell to get down. They also don't really remind me of true hamburgers.

This combo costs $12.99, but it's free if you can do it in 30 minutes. I didn't take any snapshots during the challenge, because I was so taxed by the task at hand. I had never done a burger challenge before, and I really didn't know how to go about it. I began by eating the patties separately with ketchup, mixing in the veggies as I went along. The bun was no trouble at all, but I hated the cup of mayo that came with this burger. Ugh.

I finished the last french fry exactly at the 30 minute mark. I didn't think I was really going to make it! I was certainly glad I did, though. No point in eating such a ridiculous amount of food on a dare, and then having to pay $14 for a handful of french fries. I would have been just as satisfied with a smaller serving of food, and a smaller bill. 

It's all in the thrill of competition, and I climbed the mountain yet again.

I agree with this statement! Life's also too short to eat bad food. Andre's Cafe puts out some excellent American-style grub... I'll be sure to sample those parmesan fries the next time I'm in Lodi.

Let's just say that won't be for awhile....