Food Truck Fiasco

Last July, there was a food truck festival at my high school in Buena Park. It was a trip down memory lane of sorts. There were a few staff I recognized, and lots of ASB students trying to sell me $1 water bottles. I hadn't visited the campus since graduating in 2001. The back lot was now adorned (albeit temporarily) with food trucks.

To add to the confusion, I wore the "White Rabbit" Food Truck t-shirt I earned for conquering their 6 lb burrito challenge the month before. Everyone thought I worked for White Rabbit and wanted to know why they were late. Couldn't tell you.

I was chasing down the Chunk 'N Chip food truck. They have an ice cream cookie sandwich challenge called Tang's Tower. It becomes progressively more difficult as new challengers complete the task. When I went, the challenge stood at 6 cookies, 5 toppings, and 5 scoops of ice cream under 4 minutes. Since speed isn't my strongest suit, I thought this would be a test.

You pick your choices of ice cream and cookie flavors. I don't remember everything I selected, but I avoided any flavors with chunks or crunchy pieces. It looked pretty big when it came out. One guy came out to time me. The early going was pretty rough, but I developed a rhythm and put it away in 2:44. A NEW RECORD. I couldn't believe it when he told me my time. That was a clear victory.

Since I was still hungry, an idea crossed my mind. Would they let me attempt a second Tang's Tower, same rules, same time limit, also free if finished? The worker called his boss and they went for it. They didn't think I'd stand a chance of finishing a second Tower with one already in my stomach. I heard stories now of previous challengers vomiting halfway through their Tang's Towers.

The second Tang's Tower looked bigger than the first, but no matter. I was determined. Using the experience gained from eating the first, I powered through the second in a quicker 2:36. I broke my own record. The staff and onlooking customers were flabbergasted. Several of them believed this must be a simple challenge (since I did two in a row), and lots of people wanted their own cookie challenge. The adrenaline rush from these faster challenges is incredible.

                            

On a sugar high, I needed some regular food to regain balance. Since I was already in Orange County, I headed to Los Cabos Cantina in Lake Forest to use the remainder of a gift certificate towards a 2 lb burger combo. That caused a sensation. It wasn't on the menu, though technically you could custom order it. I finished it in about 15 minutes, though obviously it wasn't a set challenge or anything. I finished my gift card with a shrimp burrito afterward. The burger was better.

Orange County has a lot of great food options. In some ways it's probably good that I don't live there anymore.

The Legend of Hogzilla

Yucca Valley is home to an interesting restaurant that shares space with a Harley-Davidson Motorcycle dealership. The Route 62 Diner is open Monday through Saturday for breakfast and lunch. The interior was comfortable, there were a couple jukeboxes, and I noticed a fair amount of 1950s and 1960s memorabilia.

And for those who like their food extra large, Route 62 Diner offers the Hogzilla Burger Challenge for $16 (as of November 2009). That's a 2 lb patty with all the fixings on an oversized bun along with a basket of fries.  The motorcycle theme was cool - how often do you find a burger named after a bike?

The burger looked really good. It comes with a lot of vegetables. There's a few slices of American cheese hiding beneath the onion rings, tomatoes, and lettuce pieces. Just think of it as a salad on top of a huge meat slab.

After getting through the burger, I emptied the fry basket onto the plate. Anyone familiar with restaurant challenges will testify that this isn't a huge pile of fries. It was barely a half pound. I've probably eaten more fries at Jack in the Box or McDonalds. Unfortunately, these fries didn't impress. The burger was much fresher and fuller of flavor.

If you finish the combo inside of one hour, you'll get your picture on the wall and take home a t-shirt proclaiming your victory over the Hogzilla. My visit was back in November 2009, when a leisurely finish in 36 minutes was proclaimed a house record. The "shocked" manager told me I was the 16th successful person to tackle the Hogzilla.

Honestly, this place is a little remote. I wonder how many people have eaten the burger by now. Maybe someone's eaten two. Just rode in on their bike, chowed down, and roared off.

Desperado Gang

That's a lot of food. This whole meal is called the Desperado Gang, and you'll find it in Marina Del Rey in a small, friendly eatery called Outlaws Bar & Grill.

Let's see what we have: 2 lbs of hamburger, a thick layer of chili, vegetables, custom bun, guacamole, and a plate of fries. Looking back, it doesn't seem like much, but this was also one of my earliest challenges. Probably in the neighborhood of 4.5-5 lbs, which is on the lower extreme of the eating challenges I take on these days. You have one hour to devour the mess for a free t-shirt and your picture on the wall of fame.

Greg "The Floss" Moss completed this challenge at one point, but I believe his venture came shortly after mine. It had been awhile since I had done anything like this, so naturally I wondered if I would come up short. The hostess had seated me across from the kitchen, and the taunts of the cook didn't help much: "Good luck buddy, there's no way in hell you can finish all that."

Well, I proved him wrong. Eventually. 45 minutes later. This was before I learned the art of pressure, so it was a good leisurely eat. It was actually a really flavorful meal, given all the different tastes, but I could have done without all that bread. The meat was a little crispy on the edges, but it's tough to complain when you get your beef in 32 oz slabs. Eat big and suffer for it.

As I left, the server told me about a really tall, bald guy who tried to eat two of these meals as his friends cheered him on.

She didn't have any names handy. I wonder who that could have been.

Big Mike's Burger

If you're ever in Bellflower, you might check out Big Mike's restaurant. They apparently deliver. I caught a glimpse of this truck after I tucked my car away in the rear parking lot off the street.


No photos of the restaurant front.. lots of the guys who ran into me didn't look too friendly, and I would have had a tough time convincing them that the use of my cell phone camera was completely kosher. Some guys don't like having their picture taken.

It's a nice place to eat in the midst of a rough neighborhood. Go there! They serve the Big Mike Burger, decked out with 2 lbs of ground beef and a hot link. Big Mike owns the place and actually took my order. He was really friendly and courteous. I got mine without the hot link, and he even knocked a couple bucks off the price tag. That was cool.


The combo, with fries and a drink, went for $9. It was a good meal. You actually watch them cook it on a huge griddle. And it isn't fast food, either. The two patties took a solid 10-12 minutes to prepare.

As a final note, I found something admirable about the inclusion of store-brand ketchup as a condiment.

Their food was tasty. They don't need Heinz.

The Knife's Edge

The closest finishes are the most cruel.

Matt "Sweet Tooth" Cohen nearly went the distance against the Daddy-O's Big One Combo challenge in San Diego. That's a 2 lb burger on a mammoth bun, with a large side of cheese fries, and a milkshake.

You get 45 minutes. "Sweet Tooth" plowed through the burger and lived up to his confectioner's moniker by annihilating the milkshake. About half of the fries separated him from victory.

This is still a "sweet" accomplishment. Matt has seen his capacity, endurance, and recovery time improve rapidly as of late. This 6 lb meal is no laughing matter.

As an eater, Matt is best known for his short-sprint victories. Think back to the Jose's Flautas qualifier in 2009, when he slammed 21 flautas in 4 minutes to go the finals. He's steadily transforming into a long-distance, high-capacity man.

Just a razor's edge away...

Going Whole Hogg

Hoggs Gourmet Grill is one of those little restaurants that may be easily overlooked. That would be a mistake. It's tucked away in the back corner of a shopping center right off the 60 Freeway in Moreno Valley.

Their cuisine is incredibly rich, smoky, and original. That is a winning combination in a culinary world dominated by chain restaurants and mass-produced foodstuffs.

This place is exceptional for the Inland Empire because it actually offers an eating challenge. A few others have popped up lately, but Los Angeles and San Diego counties are still locally dominant.

It's not especially difficult, either. You need to put away a 2.5 lb Quad Hogg Burger with a side of fries during your visit to get your picture on the wall. There's no time limit, and in the words of the incredibly friendly owner Jeff, "about 700 people have done it."


No kidding. A plethora of photographs covered one corner of the restaurant's interior wall. It's like playing Where's Waldo. Good luck finding your photo in the sea of faces.


As for the burger, it was easily one of the best I've ever eaten. You get your choice of cheese, so I went with pepperjack to give it a kick. It was greasy and good.

But... I question whether it really weighs in at 2.5 lbs. After devouring the burger in 4:30, it felt like I could have fit in a couple more. The house record is 2:17, set in November 2010.

I finished the whole combo in 7 minutes, but it didn't matter much since the restaurant doesn't keep time. Just a personal thing.


Afterward, the owner invited me to return one day to attempt the consumption record: two 5-patty Hoggs with a side of chili cheese fries. That's supposedly around 7 lbs of food. I don't think it's impossible! Seems like a video-worthy event.

Thanks again to Donsturdy.com for supporting me on this challenge. It was one of the most delectable as of late.

Here's to the Inland Empire! May their future always be bright.

Going Mad

Near Sacramento, there's a small town called Lodi.... right off the 5 Freeway on State Highway 12. It's a little bit away from the major metropolitan centers, involves driving through some farmland, and seems isolated, but once you get into the urban areas it's really a city like any other.

One colleague liked to tell me that if you've seen one city, you've seen them all. It doesn't matter where in the world (or country) you are. You find shopping centers, religious institutions, municipal buildings, eating holes, sewage systems, government offices. Names and spatial configurations might vary. But... a city is a city. A place where people gather to live and work, produce and consume. If only he told me that before I hit the road.

Lodi has those rows of businesses, much the same way you would find them in Hanford, Carson, or San Luis Obispo. I was there to visit a burger restaurant I had read about on EatFeats. Called Andre's Cafe and Catering, this place boasted a huge hamburger meal that would be completely free to any diner who could consume it in 30 minutes.

This behemoth of a cheeseburger is called the Madd Dogg Burger.... I guess you gotta be a little mad to order it, or mad to believe you're actually going to get it for free. It's 2 lbs of beef stacked high with double helpings of all the usual hamburger condiments.... tomatoes, cheese, lettuce, onions, pickles, and mayonnaise. You are also required to finish the side order of french fries.

The interesting element of the challenge is the fact that you can order any variation of french fries they serve - the garlic parmesan certainly sounded tasty, but I know that it's never a good idea to eat more on a challenge than you have to! Less is more, in this case. It's just a very basic strategy when it comes to restaurant eating challenges. I'm sure they wouldn't have minded if I asked for the chili fries, because I would have been the damn fool trying to cram down an extra pound of food.

As a side note, I vastly prefer hamburger challenges that feature multiple meat patties as opposed to one huge slab of beef. The patties are cooked separately, come out juicier and tastier, are easier to chew and swallow, and require far less liquid to get through. Giant slabs of beef, by contrast, tend to be baked until the point of dry blandness. They're hell to get down. They also don't really remind me of true hamburgers.

This combo costs $12.99, but it's free if you can do it in 30 minutes. I didn't take any snapshots during the challenge, because I was so taxed by the task at hand. I had never done a burger challenge before, and I really didn't know how to go about it. I began by eating the patties separately with ketchup, mixing in the veggies as I went along. The bun was no trouble at all, but I hated the cup of mayo that came with this burger. Ugh.

I finished the last french fry exactly at the 30 minute mark. I didn't think I was really going to make it! I was certainly glad I did, though. No point in eating such a ridiculous amount of food on a dare, and then having to pay $14 for a handful of french fries. I would have been just as satisfied with a smaller serving of food, and a smaller bill. 

It's all in the thrill of competition, and I climbed the mountain yet again.

I agree with this statement! Life's also too short to eat bad food. Andre's Cafe puts out some excellent American-style grub... I'll be sure to sample those parmesan fries the next time I'm in Lodi.

Let's just say that won't be for awhile....