I'm Back (2013)

Happy Halloween, Happy Thanksgiving, Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year. I've been remiss in my posts but the blog still exists. The urge to write endures and so I shall return.

As usual, the subject will probably be eating challenges - things look bright in 2013, and already I have plans to take on several large challenges all the way from Los Angeles to Orange County to San Diego. There may even be a detour to Las Vegas for a 120 oz steak and a few burgers.

This Sunday, I team with Jamie McDonald, Damon Wells, and Kevin Ross to take on an old nemesis: the huge 54"x54" pizza at Big Mama and Papa's Pizzeria in Burbank. We will be joined by two fellow Wreckless Eaters seeking revenge. Wish us well! Happy times and full stomachs await.

Nobody Woks in San Diego

For some reason, the lyrics to that 80s song "Walking in LA" stuck in my head when I was thinking of writing this post. That's how I arrived at the cheesy title. Anyway, a couple weeks ago I began my 2012 eating challenge schedule with a stop in San Diego on 01/03. I'd be meeting Matt Cohen for an interesting lunch.

J-Wok is located in downtown San Diego. Parking in the area is difficult as usual. By difficult, I mean everything is metered or in paid lots or structures. The restaurant itself was incredibly crisp and clean inside. I think I would have eaten off the floor, but I wouldn't recommend it.

It's hard enough finding an eatery with one eating challenge. J-Wok has two on the menu. The first is the 5 lb Pad Thai Noodle challenge, then with only one previous finisher and a record time of 35 minutes. The second challenge is the Man Vs Wok Spicy Challenge, featuring 30 Thai chilies ground into a small bed of noodles. Eat it in 15 minutes and its on the house.

We decided to order both challenges at once. This was definitely a first. Our server was taken aback, but the request was no real problem. In about 30 minutes we were facing four large bowls of delicious food.



It was an interesting situation. Since we were ordering two challenges together, management was lenient and gave us a 75 minute time limit for both challenges. The more pressing question was deciding which bowl to start with - the big one, or the hot one? Matt and I decided to begin with the 5 lb challenge.

This was my first encounter with a Pad Thai dish. I liked it, though obviously eating 5 lbs of anything is not going to be pedestrian. I needed 15 minutes to get through it, utilizing plenty of fluids, which set a house record at the time.

Then it was on to the spicy challenge. This dish was something else entirely. In hindsight, it was probably a mistake ordering it. Each bite was incredibly hot, and it only increased in intensity. The 5 lbs of food in my stomach prevented me from moving at top speed.. it was torment for lunch.

Something in my head told me not to quit. So I fought. Every bite a battle, saturated with either soda or water. The back of my throat burned, my tongue throbbed, my eyes watered, my nostrils flared (you get the idea)... but somehow I couldn't stop. If I was about to die eating, Cohen was about to die laughing. The expressions on my face were beyond description and I couldn't see them.

And it was all over. The burning sensations were excruciating for several minutes afterward. After the fire finally subsided, the staff congratulated me on what they considered to be an impossible victory. No one had ever taken on both challenges back to back, let alone completed them. 2-0 was a good way to begin the year.

But, as they say, all glory is fleeting. The following week my time record on the 5 lb Pad Thai Challenge was broken by Kevin Ross. He only cut me down by 30 seconds, but no matter. Kevin's the new man to beat.

So how did I round out my evening in San Diego? With a little more phood. A search on Yelp turned up a pho eating challenge at a restaurant called Top 10 Oriental Restaurant. This eatery intrigued me immediately. The name struck me funny at first, but I was more impressed by the fact that this place served both sushi and pho. Those are two of my favorites.

The challenge here is called the Big Stomach Challenge. That's pretty straightforward. Completely consume a Super Pho Bowl, including the broth, in 30 minutes to win a spot on the Wall of Fame and a $5 gift card for next time.

The pho was really hot. You don't get you any cooling time before the clock starts, and since the bowl is filled to the top you really can't dump in much ice to help lower the temperature. I made it a leisurely meal, only burning myself as required. There might be a house record but I didn't ask. My bowl was empty in 20 minutes and I hobbled out of there.

It's too bad they didn't have a sushi challenge.

Last Hurrah of the Year

It's fitting that I report on the final two eating challenges I completed in the year 2011. Last Monday, a drive through Corona, Wildomar, and San Diego turned up some valuable information regarding future challenges and contests. 2012 looks bright.

The journey nearly came to a close when GPS guided me to Rudford's Restaurant in San Diego. This is a 24 hour eatery, largely reminiscent of old-time diners. I love these places. They offer a burger meal challenge between the hours of 9AM-9PM.



It's called the "Big Nick Burger Challenge." If you can take down 2 lbs of patties, 8 eggs, gravy, 1/2 lb fries, and a 24 oz milkshake, you score a free meal and a t-shirt. My finish came in a record 17 minutes. It wasn't a breakneck performance exactly, since I ate while helping the customers next to me with a crossword puzzle. The whole staff was outstanding, including my server Gina, who was thrilled to see someone take on and win the challenge. Their wall of shame is full.

Afterward, I wandered over to Fred's Burgers in El Cajon. They have a huge burger called the Goliath. Since I'd never done two big burgers back to back, this seemed like a good test. I'd also never done a big burger as a day's second challenge. So, two hours later, there we were.

The Goliath burger wasn't a patty tower, but rather a mammoth single patty. But, you know, it was really good! The meat was cooked very evenly throughout. The edges weren't burned, the flavor was balanced, and you could still enjoy it as a quality meal. The bun was on the thin side and had a hint of sweetness to it.



My finish time of 27 minutes was fair, I thought, with what I already had in my stomach. Not counting fluids I was around 9 lbs. It was a fun trip. I ended up driving to the Chula Vista location of Fred's to pick up my prize shirt and I collected some video there as well. The staff was equally friendly (and professional) at both locations.

So, 2011 is almost up! It's mesmerizing in some ways. I'll close the year with a final reflection about all of the challenges I've done this year.

Different Takes

The Broken Yolk Cafe, in San Diego County, offers the highly inconsistent Ironman Challenge. 12-egg chili cheese omelet, home fries, and two biscuits. I've finished it four times, and each time it's come out differently. You can get more potatoes (or less), more eggs (or less), and the biscuits can be normal or gigantic.

But, when you take on a restaurant challenge, you play by the restaurant's rules. The platter could be 6 or 8 lbs. Well, it's a nice assortment of food. This picture makes me want breakfast.

Double Header in San Diego

The time was March 21, 2010. I was meeting a friend in the Gaslamp District of San Diego for a burger challenge.

Not just any burger challenge. Da Ultimate Burga Challenge! Finish it in 30 minutes and it's free with a shirt. If you finish it in 60, you still get a shirt but you'll pay $25. It's a 2 lb patty on a thick bun, all the fixings, and a pound of fries on the side. It's probably five pounds of food.

The server told us to start, and we were off. I began by attacking the top bun, veggies, and some of the fries. The patty came next. It was cooked very well and tasted better than any burger I'd had for quite awhile. At 15 minutes, all that remained was a pile of fries. My finish at 17 minutes was proclaimed a record, narrowly beating out a 19 minute win.

Unfortunately, my friend needed more than the thirty minutes to plow through his oversized happy meal. :(

My business in San Diego was not done. Forty minutes later, I arrived at the site of my second challenge for the day. This was Shakespeare Pub and Grille, miles away but a world of difference from Nicky Rotten's. A neighborhood bar and grill was replaced by an English pub, replete with what sounded like a completely British staff. Their hospitality and kindness couldn't be beat. The signs on the walls represented a humor I hadn't encountered since watching Benny Hill.

Here it is: The Great White Whale Challenge... 2 lbs of battered cod, 2 lbs of "chips," and a side of peas. Finish this one in 45 minutes and it's also on the house with a shirt. Otherwise, prepare to shell out another $25.

It's always a steeper hill when you have food in your stomach. The fish tasted delicious though. My single reservation was doing this as a day's second challenge, but I still relished it. The fries were more than I would have liked.. ketchup and water became my best friends as I fought to get every last morsel down.

Thankfully the peas were no trouble at all. I swallowed most of them whole, and honestly, it was nice to eat something fresh after so many things salty. The staff really goes all out for the challenge: one guy takes the mic and announces you, then the whole place cheers you on as you get close to finishing.

And finish I did, at 37 minutes. A close chase but a victory nevertheless. I thanked the staff for their warmth and a great seafood dinner. I know a few friends who have taken this challenge, and we all agree it is delectable. Fish is a welcome change from beef and chicken.

On the drive home, I totaled up these two meals at 9-10 lbs and whatever liquid I drank. It wasn't bad for a day's haul. You can imagine the impending thirst that settled in following all those french fries, beef, and fish.

My only true regret was that another eater friend couldn't have tagged along with me. This stuff's always more fun in groups. Well, there's still time for future adventures!

Sumo Roll, One and Done

Nothing lasts forever, especially when it comes to food. Nori Sushi Bar & Grill, located in eastern San Diego County, demonstrated that in the recent months.

This restaurant is a considerable trek off the beaten path. You'll find it in the city of Alpine, some 40 miles east of San Diego proper, in a large shopping center across the way from Viejas Casino.

The item of interest (for me, at least) at Nori Sushi was the barely advertised Sumo Roll. There's no mention of it on the menu. It's not referenced anywhere inside the restaurant. If you happened to stumble upon their website you might have noticed it, advertised as the "Sumo Roll Challenge." 

You get 45 minutes to consume a nearly 5 pound deep-fried monster sushi roll. Succeed, and it's free with a t-shirt. Fail to conquer the beast and you'll pay $36 plus tax. 

Since there was little information about this challenge, I decided to inquire about it with the sushi chef on hand that evening in June 2010. Apparently the owner of the restaurant came up with the idea for the challenge. That was simple enough. 4 people had attempted it before me, and they all failed by a wide margin.

Because the Sumo Roll was still unbeaten, I was given the option of ordered it deep-fried or normal style. I went with the normal roll just because I don't particularly enjoy deep-fried anything. Besides, this way it would weigh a bit less and pack fewer calories. Why not make things a bit easier?

It took awhile to prepare the roll, but once it was brought out I proceeded to throttle the entire platter in 22 minutes. The sushi chef refused to believe I had actually eaten it (come on, I wasn't even that fast), insisting instead that I must have fiddled with the timer or hidden some of the product. Restaurant patrons who were watching me came to my defense. My success was recorded at 25 minutes.

They were amazed that someone finally finished their challenge roll. I was told that I could come back and attempt the deep-fried version on another visit. However, future challengers would no longer be allowed to order the standard roll.

How the times change... as of March 2011, I discovered through a friend interested in tackling the Sumo Roll that the restaurant had canceled the challenge. Dreams of a future deep-fried challenge went up in smoke.

Maybe they'll bring it back. And, hopefully, they'll advertise it more aggressively next time around.

Gone Fishin'

Fishing is a frustrating activity. You do what you're supposed to do, but the surroundings don't always cooperate with you. Golf and bowling feel the same way at times. Not that I've ever golfed or fished. It's just an anecdote I remember from a bowling teacher at Cypress College.

Eating challenges have their moments too. Matt "Sweet Tooth" Cohen struck gold today, completing the Great White Whale Challenge at the Shakespeare Pub and Grille in San Diego. "Sweet Tooth" only needed 28 minutes to tear through 2 lbs of battered cod, 2 lbs of chips (french fries for the Americans), and a side of peas.

It's an even bigger accomplishment when you consider that the plate comes out scalding hot and they don't give you cooling time before starting the clock. You get a maximum of 45 minutes.

Perseverance pays off. Matt received his meal on the house and scored a cool t-shirt. And I'm sure it won't be long before he moves on to his next big win.

I know the nickname is easily overused, but there's no better way to sum this whole thing up.

Sweet....

The Knife's Edge

The closest finishes are the most cruel.

Matt "Sweet Tooth" Cohen nearly went the distance against the Daddy-O's Big One Combo challenge in San Diego. That's a 2 lb burger on a mammoth bun, with a large side of cheese fries, and a milkshake.

You get 45 minutes. "Sweet Tooth" plowed through the burger and lived up to his confectioner's moniker by annihilating the milkshake. About half of the fries separated him from victory.

This is still a "sweet" accomplishment. Matt has seen his capacity, endurance, and recovery time improve rapidly as of late. This 6 lb meal is no laughing matter.

As an eater, Matt is best known for his short-sprint victories. Think back to the Jose's Flautas qualifier in 2009, when he slammed 21 flautas in 4 minutes to go the finals. He's steadily transforming into a long-distance, high-capacity man.

Just a razor's edge away...

Sweet in San Diego

The Cravory hosted its inaugural Cookie Eating Championship this past Sunday (February 13) at the Hillcrest Farmers' Market in San Diego.

Parking was absolutely terrible. You can't fault the event promoters for that. The city needs to address the reality that the area needs more parking for its popular weekend farmers' market scene. It took me 45 minutes to find a spot, and even then I had to trek a half-mile on foot.

Festivities were set to start at noon. I was a bit late, but luckily they waited for me. The Cravory provided us with 50 cookies divided into 4 flavors.

14 Red Velvet - red cookies with white chocolate chips. Really dense.
12 Peanut Butter Overload - really dense and chunky.
12 Birthday Cake - light, but covered in frosting and sprinkles
12 Pancakes & Bacon - crunchy, according to Matt Cohen. I didn't eat one.

The competition was fierce. Mario and Cindy participated as local heroes, but Johnnie Excel and Matt Cohen are no strangers to the table. Matt established a string of first-place finishes the last couple years in indy contests. He is a dangerous force in very short sprints.

Excel had a breakout debut year in 2010. His victories in independent contests and challenges has been nothing short of noteworthy. He is a strong eater with no clear weaknesses.

We were given 10 minutes to eat as many cookies as we could. I don't usually participate in speed contests, but it was cookies! This would be sweet. I do well with sugars and how often do you get to chow down on designer cookies for free?

The contest got started before any of us really realized it. We were given two dunking cups full of water, and the judge refilled them as needed during the ten minutes.

These cookies didn't soak very well. The Red Velvet was particularly difficult to get down. At the two minute mark, Excel had a lead of at least 5-6 cookies. Damn this guy was quick! He never really slowed down. I pushed myself hard for the remainder of the contest.

The Top 3: Johnnie Excel with 28 cookies, 24 for me, and 18 for Matt Cohen.


This was a great improvement for me, in terms of speed eating. I got pretty close to Excel. He's no joke. He's got a great CE future ahead of him.

The local eaters, Mario and Cindy, tied for 4th place with 12 cookies each. I gotta pay them my respects for getting involved in this craziness. Sweet, sweet craziness.

Matt Cohen enjoyed the contest, but I believe he had an off-day. They don't call him the "Sweet Tooth" for nothing!

If you find yourself craving some cookies, you need to check out the Cravory. They have some great food and put on a good show. Can't wait 'til their next cookie championship!

EZ Take-Out Burger Record

EZ-Take Out Burger is a chain restaurant. Their internal dynamics are similar to In-N-Out, except here you can get deep-fried Twinkies and Oreo cookies. You can also custom-order massive burger towers. In-N-Out abandoned that practice some years ago.

You'd say "Take-4" if you wanted a burger with four patties. Now, it isn't common to find a chain restaurant offering a challenge. This one was posted on the Man V Food blog on the Travel Channel website. I visited last Sunday, February 14.

It's not offered at every location. But, Temecula's EZ Take-Out Burger maintains a Wall of Fame for the successful eater of the biggest burger.


Things started small. Take-7. Take-10. Take-19. This poster celebrates a behemoth "Take-30," successfully wolfed down on October 1, 2009 by a local customer.

I'd need to eat a 31-patty burger to dethrone the champ. That's nearly 4 lbs of beef, along with the cheese, bread, lettuce, and tomato that goes with it. Getting the new record also scores a nifty restaurant t-shirt as well my own photo on the wall.

So what does a Take-31 resemble?


That's one monumental patty stack. There's no way it's gonna stand up. Gotta come in a box... a box that's rapidly soaking up hot cheese and meat grease. Yum!


The burger was as wide as my midsection. Well, almost. I hadn't attempted this much ground beef since tackling the OMG Burger last summer. That hat was probably the most ridiculous thing about this challenge. I didn't keep it on long.

My strategy? Eat two patties at a time, leaving the meager bun toward the end.


It was mechanical. Repetitive. Boring. And finally cold.

The meat was incredibly dry toward the end. Ketchup and soda were my only friends on this one. Bite, drink, swallow... ad nauseam.

Around 45-50 minutes this beast was slain. New record! There was no time limit, but faster is better in my book.

I should point out that two hours before attempting this burger, I competed in the Cravory's first annual Cookie Eating Championship in San Diego and placed second to Johnnie Excel, eating 24 cookies to his 28. That was a close finish in ten minutes. Damn close.


It's not easy to go fast when you've got 4 lbs of cookies in the gut... but I still got it done. What a relief, too. Gotta send my thanks to Donsturdy.com for encouraging me with this challenge.

They're pushing me to make 2011 a year of gargantuan meals.

Next time, I will blog about the cookie contest in San Diego.

Big Rocco

Some pizzas are so massive they have their own life story. The 8 lb Big Rocco Stuffed Crust Pizza might have its own gravitational pull as well.

Maybe the truth is a little of both. On December 13, four of us were mystically pulled to Chicago Rocco's in San Diego to attempt this heretofore unconquered eating challenge.

As to the story, the owners told us that they named this pizza after their son - Rocco - who weighed 8 lbs at birth. I like that little detail. It really breathes some life into an otherwise standard pizza challenge. There's something neat, and equally perverse, about trying to eat the weight of a newborn in pizza.

If anyone is suspicious, 8 lbs is a standard marker for 2-person pizza challenges. Luigi's at the Beach (also in San Diego) claims that their 30" cheese pizza clocks in at 8 lbs. Original Grazianos, a chain that runs challenges at various Southern California locations, claims that their monster pizza runs 8-10 lbs.

Expecting one person to consume 8 lbs of pizza is no small feat. The pizza is only 12" wide, but it is 3" high and loaded with all the cheese you didn't ask for. It looks intimidating as they bring it out of the oven and set it on the table.

You get to pick six toppings (or stuffings?) from the menu. Picking lighter toppings will backfire, as it did with all of us, because they will add as much cheese and sauce as necessary to bring the total weight up to 8 lbs. Eat it all and it's free. Otherwise, pay them $35.

There's no time limit on this challenge. You get to take as long as you like. Of course, that's not always an advantage. Anyone who's ever tried to leisurely coast thru 7-8 lbs of food will find it gets increasingly painful as time wears on. It pays to "speed eat" sometimes.

Due to transportation issues, we arrived in two groups of two via different freeways. We agreed that the team arriving first might as well just begin the challenge. So, Manny Blitz and I dug in.

The pizzas were cut into 8 massive slices. The first 3-4 slices tasted delicious. Rich. Things got incredibly difficult once we passed the 50% point. I knew I would beat this thing, but it would be a battle. A long battle.

Our second team, composed of Aaron Ybarra and Stephanie Torres, arrived about 25 minutes after we had started. Soon enough, they were tearing through their own massive stuffed pizzas.


Though Manny and I started the challenge first, Aaron and Stephanie blasted through their pies with speedy technique. I hoped, somewhat legitimately, to become the first to finish this huge pizza. That honor instead went to Stephanie, who finished her pizza in approximately 36 minutes. The staff treated her to several sodas on the house after her big win.

I continued eating. It was considerably difficult because all the grease was getting to me... I don't think I ever needed to eat so much damn cheese in all my life. Along the way, Manny threw in the towel after eating about 6/8 of the total pie. He fought valiantly toward the end.

Pushing myself hard, I finished the last morsel of greasy pizza at 88 minutes. A win is a win! That makes me the second person to conquer the Big Rocco... considering the oily brutality of the challenge, it's an honor I should wear with pride. It really tested my endurance for distance eating. My only regret is not finishing within the hour mark I'd set for myself.


Strategy is all-important. Manny and I both employed a "slice by slice" method, but that was clearly not the way to go. You needed to get through the cheese before it hardened - and before your body began to reject all the grease. Our fellow eaters handled it the right way.

Though Aaron eventually gave up, he ate about 7/8 of the pie. No matter what else I can say, the man is fast! He's got a bright future in speed eating. The Big Rocco seems to be just a bit above his current stomach capacity.

It would have been cool to have gone 4 for 4 that night, but 2 for 4 is a decent result given the immense difficulty of the challenge. Most restaurant challenges do not approach the 8 lb mark, and for good reason.

It was a thrill to win, but the next day hardly felt glamorous ;(

Breaking Some Eggs

The most famous breakfast-style eating challenge in Southern California has got to be the Broken Yolk Cafe Special, which you will only find at the Broken Yolk Cafe. This small chain has several locations throughout San Diego County, the newest of which opened shop a few months back in San Marcos.

I made my first and only attempt at this massive breakfast platter in October 2009, as part of a family celebration. We went to the location in Carlsbad, which is right along the coast of California via the Interstate 5. It was a beautiful city. I regret not taking any photos of the town - apparently the thrill of the insane meal was just too overbearing. What struck me as most memorable were the constant, and goregous, views of the Pacific Ocean.

Anyway, this breakfast was recently made famous by Adam Richman on Man V Food. Adam did it in the more popular Pacific Beach location. I opted for Carlsbad just because it was closer to home. It's pretty much the same huge dish regardless of where you go....

A dozen-egg omelet filled with mushrooms, cheese, onions, and bell peppers, buried in chili and cheese, served along with a mountain of home-fried potatoes and two infamously dense biscuits. I'm not sure if they're buttermilk. The whole thing comes out on a 15" pizza pan for presentation value.

And yeah, everyone in my party was shocked at the size of the meal in front of me. Including myself. I hadn't done a challenge in a few weeks, and I really wanted to do this one because it sounded especially challenging. This would be a feather in my cap.... a jewel in the crown.

Or a hole in my poor stomach. I didn't realize what I was getting into. This was easily 6-7 lbs of sustenance. The over-cliched power breakfast: eat this one and sleep for a week. I was told that only one other person had ever finished this breakfast special at Carlsbad. The manager was hopeful that he'd witness a second.

I couldn't disappoint, could I?

Well, let's just say that it wasn't easy. It was a real show-stopper, requiring every last one of the given 60 minutes. I started with the omelet, which was piping hot but really tasty. Mixing it up with the home fries and chili was a delicious idea given to me by another eater, and I have to give him credit because it really gave the meal some variety. The omelet totally vanished in about 15 minutes.

Getting through the home fries was a harsh tale. They became starchy, very difficult to chew.... and eventually they tasted like asphalt. I relied on ketchup and water to pack them down.

My biggest mistake was saving the massive biscuits for last. They had hardened by the time I powered through the eggs and potatoes. I'm not joking about this - they felt like damn rocks. I could have used them for paperweights or baseballs at that point. 

Dunking them in water to soften them was the only option left, but that just made them really doughy and nasty. I struggled to get through these incredibly tasteless, wet, heavy flour lumps. Somehow I got them down by the 60 minute mark.

Honestly, I was incredibly relieved to have finished. I was #2 in Carlsbad, I had my free T-shirt, and my name would be on the plaque of fame.... and best of all I could walk away from the table.

This was one of the toughest challenges I've ever come across.

....as well as one of the most delicious. You just gotta do it a little faster to appreciate it.