EZ Take-Out Burger Record

EZ-Take Out Burger is a chain restaurant. Their internal dynamics are similar to In-N-Out, except here you can get deep-fried Twinkies and Oreo cookies. You can also custom-order massive burger towers. In-N-Out abandoned that practice some years ago.

You'd say "Take-4" if you wanted a burger with four patties. Now, it isn't common to find a chain restaurant offering a challenge. This one was posted on the Man V Food blog on the Travel Channel website. I visited last Sunday, February 14.

It's not offered at every location. But, Temecula's EZ Take-Out Burger maintains a Wall of Fame for the successful eater of the biggest burger.


Things started small. Take-7. Take-10. Take-19. This poster celebrates a behemoth "Take-30," successfully wolfed down on October 1, 2009 by a local customer.

I'd need to eat a 31-patty burger to dethrone the champ. That's nearly 4 lbs of beef, along with the cheese, bread, lettuce, and tomato that goes with it. Getting the new record also scores a nifty restaurant t-shirt as well my own photo on the wall.

So what does a Take-31 resemble?


That's one monumental patty stack. There's no way it's gonna stand up. Gotta come in a box... a box that's rapidly soaking up hot cheese and meat grease. Yum!


The burger was as wide as my midsection. Well, almost. I hadn't attempted this much ground beef since tackling the OMG Burger last summer. That hat was probably the most ridiculous thing about this challenge. I didn't keep it on long.

My strategy? Eat two patties at a time, leaving the meager bun toward the end.


It was mechanical. Repetitive. Boring. And finally cold.

The meat was incredibly dry toward the end. Ketchup and soda were my only friends on this one. Bite, drink, swallow... ad nauseam.

Around 45-50 minutes this beast was slain. New record! There was no time limit, but faster is better in my book.

I should point out that two hours before attempting this burger, I competed in the Cravory's first annual Cookie Eating Championship in San Diego and placed second to Johnnie Excel, eating 24 cookies to his 28. That was a close finish in ten minutes. Damn close.


It's not easy to go fast when you've got 4 lbs of cookies in the gut... but I still got it done. What a relief, too. Gotta send my thanks to Donsturdy.com for encouraging me with this challenge.

They're pushing me to make 2011 a year of gargantuan meals.

Next time, I will blog about the cookie contest in San Diego.