Different Takes

The Broken Yolk Cafe, in San Diego County, offers the highly inconsistent Ironman Challenge. 12-egg chili cheese omelet, home fries, and two biscuits. I've finished it four times, and each time it's come out differently. You can get more potatoes (or less), more eggs (or less), and the biscuits can be normal or gigantic.

But, when you take on a restaurant challenge, you play by the restaurant's rules. The platter could be 6 or 8 lbs. Well, it's a nice assortment of food. This picture makes me want breakfast.

Best Weekend Ever

My title might be exaggerating things. But just a little.


As far as food went, I can't complain about this past weekend. Returning to the Broken Yolk Cafe in Carlsbad, I managed to finish their Ironman Special in a personal record of 24 minutes(!). That's practically man-bites-dog news for me. My previous finishes clocked in at 60 and 55 minutes respectively - so, naturally, this was a special win for me. Cut my previous times in less than half.

Of course, this isn't all that much to brag about. I had the opportunity to personally watch Matt "MegaToad" Stonie polish off his plate in a mere seven minutes. That was incredible. And a restaurant record. I also can't compete with Ben Monson's unofficial finish of under 10 minutes. But, for me at least, this is some serious progress.


The next day, I joined Matt and his friend at La Casa Garcia in Anaheim. This time, we were hunting the 5 lb King Ranch Burrito. We told the server that we wanted "Three Kings," and the kitchen did not disappoint. This is an old foe for me. For Matt, a brand new challenge.

Matt was in thresher mode on this one... his finish at 4:17 was nothing short of amazing. Seriously, that's more than one pound per minute!

I was a lot more realistic. My aim was to get it done in less than 10 minutes, a target that was more-or-less set for me when a friend mentioned it on an eatfeats.com discussion thread.

Using a big spoon and the provided knife, I vanquished the King Ranch in 9 minutes and 40 seconds - no house record, but worlds away from my previous times of 45 and 21 minutes. Again, I cut my previous best in less than half.

I gotta see if I can press this newfound speed advantage into my future challenges.

And if you haven't already, you might want to check out some of Matt's videos on YouTube. Watching him "eat" (if you call it that!) is outta sight.

Breaking Some Eggs

The most famous breakfast-style eating challenge in Southern California has got to be the Broken Yolk Cafe Special, which you will only find at the Broken Yolk Cafe. This small chain has several locations throughout San Diego County, the newest of which opened shop a few months back in San Marcos.

I made my first and only attempt at this massive breakfast platter in October 2009, as part of a family celebration. We went to the location in Carlsbad, which is right along the coast of California via the Interstate 5. It was a beautiful city. I regret not taking any photos of the town - apparently the thrill of the insane meal was just too overbearing. What struck me as most memorable were the constant, and goregous, views of the Pacific Ocean.

Anyway, this breakfast was recently made famous by Adam Richman on Man V Food. Adam did it in the more popular Pacific Beach location. I opted for Carlsbad just because it was closer to home. It's pretty much the same huge dish regardless of where you go....

A dozen-egg omelet filled with mushrooms, cheese, onions, and bell peppers, buried in chili and cheese, served along with a mountain of home-fried potatoes and two infamously dense biscuits. I'm not sure if they're buttermilk. The whole thing comes out on a 15" pizza pan for presentation value.

And yeah, everyone in my party was shocked at the size of the meal in front of me. Including myself. I hadn't done a challenge in a few weeks, and I really wanted to do this one because it sounded especially challenging. This would be a feather in my cap.... a jewel in the crown.

Or a hole in my poor stomach. I didn't realize what I was getting into. This was easily 6-7 lbs of sustenance. The over-cliched power breakfast: eat this one and sleep for a week. I was told that only one other person had ever finished this breakfast special at Carlsbad. The manager was hopeful that he'd witness a second.

I couldn't disappoint, could I?

Well, let's just say that it wasn't easy. It was a real show-stopper, requiring every last one of the given 60 minutes. I started with the omelet, which was piping hot but really tasty. Mixing it up with the home fries and chili was a delicious idea given to me by another eater, and I have to give him credit because it really gave the meal some variety. The omelet totally vanished in about 15 minutes.

Getting through the home fries was a harsh tale. They became starchy, very difficult to chew.... and eventually they tasted like asphalt. I relied on ketchup and water to pack them down.

My biggest mistake was saving the massive biscuits for last. They had hardened by the time I powered through the eggs and potatoes. I'm not joking about this - they felt like damn rocks. I could have used them for paperweights or baseballs at that point. 

Dunking them in water to soften them was the only option left, but that just made them really doughy and nasty. I struggled to get through these incredibly tasteless, wet, heavy flour lumps. Somehow I got them down by the 60 minute mark.

Honestly, I was incredibly relieved to have finished. I was #2 in Carlsbad, I had my free T-shirt, and my name would be on the plaque of fame.... and best of all I could walk away from the table.

This was one of the toughest challenges I've ever come across.

....as well as one of the most delicious. You just gotta do it a little faster to appreciate it.