An Open Challenge

Originally, this blog post was going to describe a few challenges I completed in January. A conversation with a friend today changed my mind.

Chick-Fil-A at the La Habra Marketplace holds its chicken nugget eating contest three times per year. The next contest is sometime in May. I've won the local championship four times running, eventually doubling the house record from 106 to 212 nuggets. That's nearly 8 lbs of greasy, salty chicken.

Compared to most eating contests in the US, the format of this one is unique. It's two drawn-out hours of consumption. You get twenty nuggets to start, and ten more every time you clean your plate. It's about endurance and resillience as much as it is eating.

Along the way, I've gotten past some formidable talent. That led me to wonder who might challenge me in the next contest. If there's going to be a contest, you might as well use it to prove something. Breaking my own record has become unimaginative. Local competitors, like Johnnie Excel and The Spicialist, have shown little taste for the grease and salt.

That's when the idea hit me. Maybe it's time to provide an opponent with the incentive to provide competiton. Talking it over with The Spicialist, I came up with the idea of offering an independent eater reimbursed travel costs and a small cash prize - say $150 or so - if they come to the next nugget contest and defeat me.

It's a bold idea. I hope someone takes it seriously. Though the offering isn't excessive, it's more than what many challenges or contests pay. Ideally, I'd want to face someone that's never competed with me, or whom I've never beaten in competition.

Stephanie Torres could head the list of favored opponents, but technically we can't compete against each other since the contest features separate gender divisions. Maybe the restaurant would be willing to make an exception. Given our history, it would be an interesting confrontation. Our capacities over the long haul are similar. I snuck past her in the Lone Butte 30 minute Heavyweight Burger Championship last Summer, but she's defeated me in every short game contest we've had.

The list of independent eaters I've never defeated is quite long. The most interesting candidates, to my mind, would be "Furious" Pete Czerwinski or Randy Santel.

Many people have asked me if I could beat "Furious" Pete in a contest (call it the YouTube effect. Normally I wouldn't put myself in his league). He's fast as hell, but I think I'd have a shot in a longer contest or in a contest featuring disgusting foods. Since I don't think Pete would come on "Wreckless Eating" and throw down with live superworms, two hours of nuggets might be the equalizer. This is a rather small venue for him though. 

The other golden candidate would be Randy Santel. I would lean toward Randy because both he and I started in competitive eating via restaurant challenges. Regardless of our other endeavors, we remain challenge specialists. We've never faced off in a contest and never met in real life. I believe the confrontation would be epic. Legendary. The four-time champ against Atlas and Zeus, with everything on the line.

Of course, these are all pipe dreams. The great likelihood is that this entire blog post will be ignored. I'll go back to writing about other challenges and restaurants I've visited, and life will go on. Sometimes, you have to let an idea express itself. Go big or go home.

If any eater (anyone at all) wants to pursue this concept, you can contact me on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, or directly through this blog. There are certain legal components that I'd be responsible for, and I accept that. Let's see if we can't make the next nugget contest exciting.

Eat More Chicken

This is the post that's long overdue in some ways. In the year 2011, Chick Fil A at the La Habra Marketplace held three nugget eating championships. I won all of them, each time establishing a new record. I pushed the standard from 107 to 201, 205, and now 206. My strongest competition came from Frank Paulin and The Spicialist (197).

Chick Fil A's contest is unique because it follows the pattern of Japanese long-distance eating contests. Competitors get two hours to eat as many nuggets as possible. The format suits my eating ability and generally I outpaced my rivals by a wide margin.

By contrast, American-style speed eating contests are limited to 12 minutes or less. The Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Contest and most other contests in the US follow this format. Since my speed skills are not highly refined, my results in those contests aren't nearly as impressive.

Chick Fil A's nuggets have a balanced taste. They're made from white meat and the batter isn't overwhelming. All of the dipping sauces create a wealth of variety, though sooner or later you will endure flavor frustration. The texture of chicken nuggets becomes too repetitive (that's the problem with a two hour contest). I was happy they had several drinks to choose from. The sodium content is probably the most challenging element of this contest. I love chicken so this contest food is a good fit for me.

The next contest is in February 2012. If nothing else, I look forward to defending my title and possibly setting a higher record. This contest is special to me because La Habra is next door to Buena Park, a city I spent over 10 years. I graduated from Buena Park High and many of my friends still eat at this Chick Fil A and see my name on the wall. There's incentive for me to keep my name up.

To parody Tolstoy: how many nuggets does a man need? That's not really the appropriate question. Rather, it's: how many can a man hold in his stomach? I'll have the answer in February.

Monster of a Burger, Part One

Some challenges feel more like contests. Yankee Doodles, in Santa Monica, offers a stupendous burger challenge with a 15 minute time limit. You gotta eat it all to win: the burger, the fries, and a pitcher of drink.

Does it even seem plausible? That's a 24 oz patty smothered in cheese and vegetable toppings buried beneath a mammoth custom bun. The whole monstrosity straddles about 1.5 lbs of french fries. The pitcher of "drink" (soda, water, or anything else on the menu) couldn't be any less than 44 oz. It's a ton in 15 minutes.

The manager told me that they had run the challenge for five years. In those five years not one person even managed to finisher the burger. What's the story? An impossible challenge?

I started to wonder if they even kept champion t-shirts on hand. This looked like a solid bet for the House. Maybe they'd get $30 out of me too.

Monsterburger Royale

Professional eaters and hangers-on will converge upon the city of Hawthorne, CA this June when the Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Championship Qualifying Contest rolls into town.

Some enterprising souls may wander away to B&R's Old Fashion Hamburgers to sample the specimen featured above.

The Monster Royal Burger.

16 oz of pre-cooked meat, chili, cheese, eggs, lettuce, tomato, onions, pickles, banana peppers, and your choice of bacon or pastrami. I picked pastrami.

It's like a Fatburger or the Original Tommy's, just a lot messier and straight to your table with that feeling of home.

A poster on the wall claims it weighs 1.5 lbs all dressed up. Apparently there's even a yearly speed eating contest with this thing every October. Unless it's been canceled.

Definitely worth the $8.50 (back in October 2009). I gave it a good home. The restaurant was clean inside, the staff inviting, the regulars cordial and enthusiastic.

One customer couldn't stand the sight of such an overwhelming burger: "Why would you want to eat that?!"

Not sure how I should have replied. It was definitely an awesome eat. B&R's know their stuff.

In Memoriam

Early this morning, a dear friend of mine passed away. He was a colleague in the profession of teaching. I could always count on him for solid advice, whether it was about professional or family matters. His words comforted me during a moment of intense hardship last year. And, for that, I was incredibly grateful.

Nestor Salan didn't know about this blog or my videos, but he knew about my passion for eating and he encouraged me to pursue eating challenges and contests wherever possible. He was one of the few people I knew who was constantly asking: "So what'd you eat this weekend?"

We were always talking about having eating contests among the school staff to raise spirit among the students. While these never took place, Mr. Salan would have been the first guy to volunteer. Maybe even before me.... building up a sense of the community meant that much to him.

I'll miss the man, but I'll forever remember his words: "I'll be where I need to be when I need to be there." That spirit of optimism and destiny was unshakable.

It's too bad we never had an eating contest. He might have won.