Hectic Times in South OC

Last week was busy. Between seeing myself on Man v Food Nation (strange and surreal), pioneering a burrito challenge, and winning a Fatburger 6 lb burger contest, life outside the classroom has been without a dull moment.

Before I go through all these recent events, I'd like to report on a burrito challenge from South Orange County that was completed successfully some months back in May 2011. A friend and I ventured to Los Cabos Cantina in Lake Forest, home to the 7 lb "Biggest Burrito Challenge." The challenge is normally offered Tuesday nights, but we got ours on a weekend.

Is it truly 7 lbs, or does that weight include the rice and beans that adorn the sides of the pizza platter? No one on the wait staff could really tell us. It was not a difficult challenge. However, it was an enjoyable one. The meat was incredibly tender, rice flavorful, and the beans complimented well with melted cheese.

The only thing I can say is: bring silverware! They normally only give you plastic cutlery, and I struggled mightily to get things done quickly. My friend and I both finished under 14 minutes. The challenge officially entails a 30 minute limit. Fail to get it done and you'll pay $30 for your disaster. There's no free shirt here, but you do get your photo on the wall.

We celebrated our wins in appropriate fashion, splitting a nacho platter and driving over to a local Golden Spoon for some soft serve. I don't know, at some point it feels like all this eating after a challenge becomes gratuitous. Then again, I'm probably the last person who should be raising that point.

Look for my next posts to include the recent burrito challenge (with video) and the Fatburger contest.

Man Vs. Burritos

Anyone want to guess how much these burritos weigh? These are two Killer burritos from Chile Red in Rancho Cucamonga, CA. The menu says they weigh 3 lbs each, but there's way those are legitimate numbers.

The restaurant will give anyone who finishes one killer burrito a free t-shirt. There's no time limit, though the restaurant recognizes my previous challenge attempt at 9 minutes as the official record. When I asked if anyone had ever consumed two in one sitting, all I got were replies of amazement. Never in the restaurant's history - since 1985 - had that been done. So that became a test for me.

The first one went down around 9:30 real time, but the second one was agonizing. It took 37 minutes to completely finish both. There were moments I really wanted to stop. That was one of the most intense challenges I've ever endured. I'd estimate the weight of both burritos at 10 lbs, with lots of meat and cheese. The restaurant owners were most impressed by the display and gave me both challenges on the house. Their hospitality and support was simply exemplary. I need to go back and eat three.

Tomorrow night, I will be appearing on Man v Food Nation to attempt a 4 lb tri tip sandwich in San Luis Obispo. The opportunity was extraordinary. The finished product should be more entertaining than my YouTube productions.

Chile Red

Rancho Cucamonga is home to a very small Mexican restaurant with a very big eating challenge.

This is the Killer Burrito. It comes in several different variants, including one extremely spicy version. They all clock in at the $10-11 range. Eat it in one sitting and receive a free t-shirt as well as your picture on the Wall of Fame.

The restaurant staff on-hand was literally two people, the server and the cook. They insisted to me that the Killer Burrito weighed 3 lbs, but judging from previous food fights this was more in the 4-5 lb range. The burrito was flavorful and tender. Using a fork and knife I was able to get it down in 9 minutes.

The cook couldn't believe it when the server told him I was finished. He insisted on coming out from the kitchen to take a look, and yeah, it was legit. The server then told me the house record was 7 minutes. You know, I probably could have snagged it if I wasn't busy taking photos and fidgeting with my phone.

It might be possible for a mass eater to put away two of these burritos. Apparently one man made the attempt, but only got 25% into the second one before - uh - leaving his soul all over the floor. That was an hour-long effort as well. There are rumors of an upcoming burrito-eating contest at Chile Red, but nothing confirmed. These small places are usually a lot of fun and I liked my time there.

I'd like to go back and sample their spicy Killer. Decked out with jalapenos and hot sauces, it's sure to give a little rush. Maybe it'll help me break the 7 minute record.

Big Papi's Burrito

Papi Chulo's Cantina in Scottsdale, AZ tempts the big eater with a massive 6.2 lb burrito. A poster by the doorway compares their "Big Papi" burrito to a small child. It begs a question with an obvious answer.

Yes, I'm ready to eat the weight of a small child in delicious Mexican food!

There it is. A small football covered in sauce and Parmesan cheese. If you want to get this behemoth on the house, you gotta wolf it down in 30 minutes. Stephanie Torres set the standard at the end of 2010 by annihilating this burrito under 3 minutes.

In true comic fashion, the manager asked me if I was planning on busting the record. I promptly replied: "Hell no, I'm just hoping to eat this thing." Inquiring after the rules, I was told there was no silverware requirement. So when the clock started I went to town.

This was the first big-burrito challenge I'd ever attempted using my hands. It was messy as hell. Food particles assaulted every inch of my hands. The innards of the burrito confronted me with a variety of tastes: salsa, cilantro, meat, peas, corn, beans, lettuce. A lot of everything really.

Done in 11 minutes and 4 seconds. That was the new second-best time for the challenge. They even gave me a certificate noting my time, and the date of completion in January 2011. The manager also gave me a $20 gift card for my next visit.

My only regret was using my hands. When I jabbed my knife into the tortilla, it literally went nowhere. Knife be damned.

Party Burritos

This is a case of false advertising? Someone get me the phone number for the Federal Trade Commission. I'm not about to pay $20 for a party burrito, but something feels wrong.

Serves ten? That must be an exaggeration.

Getting Pregnant

El Nopal Mexican Restaurant, located in West LA, offers a signature item called the Pregnant Burrito. The name draws different reactions from people, but it is definitely one of the more interesting things I've come across.

Take 12 oz of white-meat chicken, onions, avocados, and lettuce.... wrap it in a tortilla. Then douse the whole thing in red sauce and sprinkle cheese on top. You now have a Pregnant Burrito.

Before visiting their establishment last year, I scanned through Yelp reviews and discovered that they had instituted an on-going, no-time limit eating challenge featuring this bloated burrito. If you could best the standing consumption record by at least one-half burrito, you would be crowned "El Nopal Pregnant Burrito Eating Champion." Your meal would be on the house, and you would get a special golden restaurant t-shirt. Sounded pretty good.

Yelp reviews at the time indicated that the record currently stood at 2.5 burritos, but that was a bit out of date. Turned out the latest champ had downed 3.5 Pregnant Burritos, so I would need to put away 4 for a shot at posterity. I wasn't expecting that going in... still, thinking back to some of the other challenges I completed, I knew I stood a decent chance.

The restaurant was dark and cozy. I liked the environment... staff was friendly, chips and salsa were on point, though pretty much everyone wrote me off as having no chance of breaking the Pregnant Burrito record.

As usual, the first installment tasted really good. I appreciate avocado, and the chicken was really lean. But eating the same thing repeatedly always leads to the law of diminishing returns: less and less satisfaction from each new burrito consumed.

Even chocolate eventually tastes like asphalt. Extensive buffet experiences confirm this.


Some burritos look neater than others. Presentation counts for less during a challenge, but clearly this fourth burrito was totally soaked in cheese... therefore it probably also weighed more than the previous burritos. Consistency was an issue that came to mind, but I couldn't let those thoughts deter me. I needed to finish.

(Note: challenge pregnant burritos must be ordered with chicken and all fillings, but other meats are available for ordinary consumption... I tried to get a different meat choice, but the manager refused my attempt at variety)

These burritos must have weighed 2 lbs apiece, if not more. By the time I swallowed the last bite, the only thought crossing my mind was relief. The manager offered to give me another burrito, to see if I could press the record higher - but I politely declined.

4 Pregnant Burritos was enough for me that day. I needed just over one hour, which I didn't think was totally awful. It might have helped if they agreed to bring them all out at once... instead of one at a time as I finished them. The kitchen was not very fast towards the end.

Overall, I enjoyed the experience. This was the first time a restaurant challenge had involved the title of "champion." I wasn't sure how to handle it. Silence was my method. In fact, I don't think anyone ever knew I held the record at El Nopal.

My record stood from September 27, 2009 until mid-May 2010 when Jarrod set the new record at 4.5 burritos. My 7+ month reign was over, but my hat was off to the new man. That was no easy feat.