Not All Foods Created Alike!

Sometimes I have to stop posting about my challenges, and do a little bit of thinking.

It's rare, but it happens. A little thought is a dangerous thing. In Socrates' case, it got him killed. I'm not going to take my philosophy to that level, but it's a good idea to think about the things you do. It makes you better. Even something as mundane as eating requires a strategy.

Going about anything without putting a thought behind it is a hard road to nowhere. And I don't intend on middling on to oblivion. I detest obscurity. Excellence requires an idea.

Each type of food poses its own difficulty for consumption. Some foods are a lot easier to chew and swallow than others. Some foods are easy to consume in massive doses. Others - not so much.

Take ice cream. It's pretty easy to eat - much easier than steak or pizza. You put it in your mouth, negotiate it a little bit, and swallow. Repeat as necessary. I once took down two massive ice cream challenges in a period of five hours. The weight consumed in that time frame was about 9 lbs. I don't think I would have succeeded in eating the same amount of hamburger meat or bread in five hours.

Ice cream does pose problems though. It is usually milk-based - so naturally I felt a little bit nauseated from all the lactose I threw into my system. It's also incredibly cold when served, so you might have to stop every once in a while to overcome brain freeze. Then there's the issue of "freezing" your mouth. It's a good idea to have some hot water handy when attempting to eat loads of ice cream. I've learned from experience that massive loads of ice cream can make your teeth ache.

Meats require more careful chewing, especially if you're hoping to avoid any choking scenarios. All that chewing will make you tired and irritable. I have a feeling that people often give up on large steak/burger challenges simply because they lack the stamina and jaw endurance to go on. I've never eaten a set portion of meat larger than 44 oz, and let me tell you, it takes a lot more out of you than eating the cold stuff!

Breads, starches and other carbohydrates (rice, tortillas, pizza crust, pancakes) are the toughest of all in my opinion. These foods tend to expand in your gut, and it's tough to go on when you feel that you're about to burst. Fiber-rich foods are also extremely filling. Avoid whole-wheat challenges at all costs!

Joking aside, it is common practice for serious eaters to soak breads in water to ease the chewing process. This may help, but it makes a huge mess. It also causes you to take in more fluid than usual, thereby taking up precious space in the stomach cavity that might be needed later on.

Fruits and vegetables seem easy to eat, but I have no experience eating them en masse. I'm not about to try, either, because I can only imagine the effects on my digestive tract.

Liquids are easier than solids, since you can drink 8 lbs (roughly one gallon of water) a lot faster than you can bite, chew, and swallow it in food form. Many people (not me) have successfully drank a gallon of milk or water in under a minute. You'll never achieve that rate with pure solids.

Finally, it's always more difficult to eat a food in large quantities. You really get sick of the taste, especially if it wasn't that appealing to begin with. Nothing tastes good forever - it's just the law of diminishing returns. The first bite of pizza may taste like Heaven, but the last bites will always taste like Hell. It's harder to eat when you're full. Your body's telling you to stop, but the competitive mind urges you to fight on.

All this thinking is making me tired - and hungry. I'm going to go eat.