History is Written.... in Pizza

 
Pizza is one of those foods that people just love. It's junk food. It's comfort food. It is convenience: tomato sauce, cheese, and bread, in one easy-to-carry package.

It's one of those foods that people often eat in large helpings. But, anyone who claims to have eaten a lot of pizza - and there's a people out there who claim this - needs to stop by Big Mama & Papa's Pizzeria in Los Angeles to put their experience into perspective.

This pizza chain sells a 'pie' that is a whopping 54 inches by 54 inches. It's a square, technically, so math geeks would cringe at me calling it a pie, since pies are round... but I digress.

This massive pizza is called the Grand Sicilian. It begins with over 29 lbs of dough.... add the necessary fat, layers of sauce and cheese, and any other toppings you like, and you're looking at a culinary monstrosity that easily tops the 50 lb mark.

Their website claims it is the largest deliverable pizza in the world. I'm not here to debate that statement. I do know it would take a flatbed to bring this beast to anyone's house.

Any party or social gathering would be well-fed if they ordered this thing. It is cut into roughly 154 squares, and if you offered every person 2-3, you arrive at the website's suggestion that it would feed 50-70 people. Yikes!

The Hollywood Blvd. location is bold enough to offer up this pizza as a team eating challenge. It began as a 4-man affair: put it away in two hours, and you get the pizza free ($250 value), along with a $1000 bounty.

That's a lot of money to put up, but then again, it's a lot of pizza! Especially considering that the challenge must be done with one topping.... when you're talking about loading 2,916 square inches with an extra layer, you add substantial weight. The restaurant thought had a safe bet going.

And they were right! There were no successes. Not even close. So it was upped to five men..... then six.

On October 3, 2009, I joined five other big-eating individuals in an attempt to take down this challenge. We would be making eating history. We would be the first to tame this raging cheese monster.

We were amazed at the vast size of the thing when it came out to our table! It was as big as a chunk of sidewalk. A small person could crawl under it and use it as a blanket. It could have probably fed an entire elementary school - and then some.

We ate like threshers for a solid two hours. It tasted much better in the beginning, as most eating challenges go. It was incredibly rock-hard after it cooled down. In the end, the pizza proved victorious. There were 23 squares left - we had come closer than any team thus far. We made history alright, just not the particular kind we were looking for.
 

 All six of us left the restaurant feeling very full and a little bit disappointed... so close but not close enough!

I would actually need to rest on the sidewalk (read: lie down) before finally getting in my car for the drive home.

 

There is one piece of silver lining: I set a personal record for consumption. My scale at home told me that I had packed in an extra 17 lbs of weight. Even accounting for the liquids I drank, it was remarkable.

It would be a long time before I'd want to eat pizza again.