Gone Fishin'

Fishing is a frustrating activity. You do what you're supposed to do, but the surroundings don't always cooperate with you. Golf and bowling feel the same way at times. Not that I've ever golfed or fished. It's just an anecdote I remember from a bowling teacher at Cypress College.

Eating challenges have their moments too. Matt "Sweet Tooth" Cohen struck gold today, completing the Great White Whale Challenge at the Shakespeare Pub and Grille in San Diego. "Sweet Tooth" only needed 28 minutes to tear through 2 lbs of battered cod, 2 lbs of chips (french fries for the Americans), and a side of peas.

It's an even bigger accomplishment when you consider that the plate comes out scalding hot and they don't give you cooling time before starting the clock. You get a maximum of 45 minutes.

Perseverance pays off. Matt received his meal on the house and scored a cool t-shirt. And I'm sure it won't be long before he moves on to his next big win.

I know the nickname is easily overused, but there's no better way to sum this whole thing up.

Sweet....

A Splash of New

It's a crisp citrus soda.. even reminds me a bit of lemonade.

Will it crush the competition, or fade away after a brief surge?

Big D's Pizza

Sometimes life is a series of random circumstances. A coworker looked up the website for a small pizza parlor in San Dimas and inadvertently discovered that they had an eating challenge.

My reputation for doing this stuff is not a secret. I called for details and learned that this challenge was as-of-yet undefeated. That added a bit of incentive. It was probably high-difficulty.


It's simple, really: eat one of their large 20x20 square pizzas in 45 minutes and it's free ($20-25 if you lose). Winners also get their name on a plaque and take home a free t-shirt. When I walked in Friday night, the plaque didn't exist yet.

Mathematically, a 20x20 square pizza works out to 400 square inches, or slightly bigger than a 22.5" round pizza. That's huge. Typically, solo pizza challenges don't run bigger than 18" or 20".

But surface area is one thing, and weight is another. I was told this was a 6-7 lb pizza (all depending on whom I asked in the restaurant), of which 4 lbs were just dough. Given my past experiences, I knew it would be close.

Breads and other starches aren't my friends. This pizza boasted a thick crust.


It needed several minutes to cool. 45 minutes would pass quickly, so I decided to go as fast as I could in the beginning.

Doughy.... chewy.... I worked my way around the entire crust to eliminate the largest, breadiest section of the pizza first. About 15-16 minutes in it was more than half gone.

Then, predictably, things slowed down. The staff was convinced at this point that I could be their first winner, but they didn't feel that way when I first showed up. Admissions didn't come til later.

But... it was still a haul. Every remaining piece was a tedious, dry-mouth fight. Lots of chewing. Lots of water. Tension.

My colleague encouraged me to finish the last few pieces while Devo's "Whip It" was still playing over the sound system, but it wasn't happening. The cheese was now like asphalt.

Still, I appreciated the 80s soundtrack that accompanied me through my food fight.


All clear at 42 minutes. And dehydrated. Lots of water would follow those 24 squares of pizza.

It was a fun evening all around. This challenge just needs a little more publicity... I'm sure they'll be getting more takers (and winners) in the near future. Definitely not for the faint-hearted. There were doubts swirling in my mind (and stomach) at the end.

The proof is in the pictures.

That's the Thing

The open road is boring repetitiveness after awhile. Like those madly repeating backgrounds from old cartoons. A visual song on infinite loop.

That's why enterprising people set up tourist traps. They catch suckers driving along these lonely highways.


The Thing is a famous stop near Tucson, AZ. It's a mixture of gift shop and mystery museum affixed to a Dairy Queen restaurant. Pure genius. The weary traveler's money pit. A little curiosity in the middle of nowhere.

Signs along both directions of the I-10 warn you to stop and see "The Thing."

I won't spoil the mystery involved. It was a special memory from a trip taken with family several years ago. My recent stop in 2011 was total nostalgia.

Warnings and beckonings persist for hundreds of miles on the freeway. You're primed to stop and see this place.


The thing is... there's nothing else there!

The Knife's Edge

The closest finishes are the most cruel.

Matt "Sweet Tooth" Cohen nearly went the distance against the Daddy-O's Big One Combo challenge in San Diego. That's a 2 lb burger on a mammoth bun, with a large side of cheese fries, and a milkshake.

You get 45 minutes. "Sweet Tooth" plowed through the burger and lived up to his confectioner's moniker by annihilating the milkshake. About half of the fries separated him from victory.

This is still a "sweet" accomplishment. Matt has seen his capacity, endurance, and recovery time improve rapidly as of late. This 6 lb meal is no laughing matter.

As an eater, Matt is best known for his short-sprint victories. Think back to the Jose's Flautas qualifier in 2009, when he slammed 21 flautas in 4 minutes to go the finals. He's steadily transforming into a long-distance, high-capacity man.

Just a razor's edge away...