Long Day in LA

Recently, I posted my 200th blog entry. Not sure when exactly, but I'll commemorate it now with a tale of three challenges. That's right. One day in LA brought me to successfully tangling with three challenges in four hours.

My tale begins on a random day in February 2012. After visiting relatives in the Los Angeles area, I headed downtown for the Stray Cat Cafe. This small restaurant features an incredibly spicy cheesesteak challenge. Finish it in 10 minutes and it's free! The Spicialist hammered it in about 3 minutes, and he dared me to go and try my hand at it.

It's not the biggest 10" sandwich in the world. I'd estimate it at 2 lbs, but it's the habanero sauce and scotch bonnet peppers that'll get ya. Water is allowed and I suggest you make use of it. The burn creeps in and doesn't really let go. My finish in 6 minutes couldn't have come a moment too soon. OUCH.

They give you vanilla ice cream to help soothe the fire in your mouth. Ironically, the sensation of my tongue and lips burning like lava has remained burned in my memory. Wish I chugged Pepto Bismol beforehand.

My head ablaze, I staggered out of the cafe and hobbled back to my car to get some Pepto Bismol in my system. It was really too late. My stomach was churning like an old car's motor. Standing and walking were chores. Somehow I made it. After resting a few minutes, I walked about one mile into the heart of Little Tokyo.

The next stop was a little Japanese restaurant called Wakasaya. Right there in the window, they advertised their challenge. Free, the sign said, if you could eat it in 15 minutes.

Meet the Bikkuri Don. This is a massive bowl of rice and raw fish, accompanied by a generous helping of miso soup. Miso hungry? Sorry for the pun, but this is a tough challenge. I went after it mostly because I was really craving the taste of sushi.

It's at least 5 lbs of food. 15 minutes may seem like plenty, but it really is not. Rice is a difficult food to eat quickly. And, most of this bowl IS rice. There's just a thin layer of delicious seafood on top.

You're probably thinking I took a risk by attempting this 5 lb bowl so soon after the cheesesteak. And indeed, you are correct. The cheesesteak wasn't huge, but it was still at least 2 lbs. Throw on the ice cream and other liquids consumed, and you have a decent sum already in my stomach.

To make matters worse, the peppers in my stomach started acting up as soon as I began attacking the rice bowl. There was a battle in there. My fight was valiant. Every bite of rice a struggle, lots of water for the assist, and lots of indecision as my stomach rumbled.

There was no confidence in me as I pushed closer and closer to the finish. It was a buzzer beater, the win credited at 14:47. Wow. That was close. Next time I'll be conservative about stacking two (short-time) challenges so close together. My marathon eating needs longer time limits.

My stomach felt heavy right after, but it was mostly the water I took in. The sensation evaporated in about an hour. I spent a little more time looking at shops in Little Tokyo before going back to my car.

The last stop of the day was about five miles away. It was across surface streets, and with predictable LA traffic took nearly forty-five minutes. Thankfully, parking was easy at this last venture. Scenery change was interesting as I went from a mostly affluent Asian part of town to a less affluent Hispanic part of town. The history-geography-economics teacher in me made lots of mental notes. Buildings and streets seemed rundown, but it still felt like a happy place.

This last eatery was called Mom's Tamales. It wasn't situated in a shopping mall or corner office building. Instead, it looked like part of an old home. The iron door didn't look inviting but the inside told a different story. It was a very cozy little place to eat.

For the last challenge of the day, I would be taking on the restaurant's signature dish of tamales. That's 12 tamales of your choice, accompanied by a side of rice or beans, and 32 ounces of drink. That's a grand total of 7 lbs, inside a time limit of one hour (fail and you'll pay about $35). The long time limit gave me a sense of confidence.

For my challenge, I split the tamales: 4 chicken, 4 ground beef, 4 pineapple. They had other choices but I chose to place it safe. Pineapple sounded intriguing, offering the closest thing to a dessert option all day. I chose beans since the Bikkuri Don provided me with so much rice earlier on.

They only brought out half the challenge at a time. The kitchen was busy at that hour. They also feared that my food would get cold and unpalatable over time. My drink of choice was Coke... and with that the clock started.

Damn, was this food good. I'd pay to take this challenge again. The taste and texture of the masa was out of this world. It was like Baby Bear's porridge. Everything was just right! The filling was great too.

I finished the first half of the challenge in 15 minutes. It seemed crazy fast, considering what was already in my stomach. Unfortunately, the waiting game set in and the second half of the challenge became very hard.

It took 20 minutes for the second batch to arrive. Though the cooking time didn't count against me, the damage was done. Getting my brain and body to restart was not easy. My stomach teetered near capacity as I fought to finish the last 6. The pineapple tamales were very sweet but not very enjoyable.

Finishing the cup of soda was the hardest part of all. Sip by sip... finish it I did. And the challenge was over at 46 minutes. I became the second tamale champion and (at that moment) set a record time. If memory serves right, Kevin Ross set a really good time for this challenge later on.

The owner of Mom's Tamales was very kind and generous. We took photographs, discussed the quality of the food, and I received a beautiful black T-shirt proclaiming my victory. He asked me not to tell any of my friends about his challenge.

What a day. It's not easy to come up with a final opinion, but it was certainly over the top. Dramatic. And above all else, fun. Now let us never speak of it again.