OMG - I Ate the Whole Thing!

The Catch is a popular restaurant in downtown Anaheim, right near Angel Stadium. They recently grabbed the headlines with the unveiling of an 8 lb party burger known simply as the "OMG Burger." It's a fitting name, because that's what most people scream when they see the monster burger brought out.

The restaurant bills the burger as larger than your head. It's larger than a damn birthday cake. It's larger than lots of things. They're wagering it's also larger than the vast majority of human stomachs. To that end, The Catch has unveiled an interesting offer: $500 to anyone who can completely consume this beast in one hour. You don't have to eat the fries, but with 4 lbs of beef, a fluffy brioche bun, and loads of mayonnaise and vegetables, this is no simple task. Even serious eaters would be struck down by this monster.

I've completed several challenges that I'd considered very difficult. The one that screams out at me is the Big John Superburger, from Big John's Cafe in Redondo Beach. I was the second successful finisher out of 1820+ attempts in ten years. That burger was similar, but smaller. I've always considered that one the most daunting single person eating challenge I'd been involved in.

This OMG Burger was at a whole other level. I gave it a shot because I was in the neighborhood with friends. I really had no idea if I could get it all down. Being the first person on their Wall of Champions was certainly a huge motivator!

I was daunted by the fact that the restaurant's challenge forbade dunking, since this would have really softened the bread. Nevertheless, I began aggressively, finishing the 4 lbs of beef and all of the vegetable toppings in about 35 minutes. Onlookers were clearly amazed at my performance. Several staff members believed I might really be their first champion.... over 200 had already failed, someone had to come along, right?

Well, the bread really slowed me down in the end. I wasn't really full, but my mouth was dry and I was not able to maintain the blistering pace for the entire hour. I stopped at 59 minutes, with 6/8 of the bottom bun isolating me from victory. I was proud of the amount I had consumed, but disappointed that I couldn't entirely conquer the burger.

So close and yet so far! The manager offered me a chocolate milkshake on the house, and made me an incredible offer based on my performance.... if I could finish the rest of the bun, I would get the burger for free. That's not something I blinked at! I finished the bottom bun and milkshake in about 30 minutes time. My strength has always been in long-distance eating, and I proved it that day.

With the milkshake and all the water I consumed that day, my body must have been holding over 10 lbs of excess mass. It was the single biggest eating challenge I'd succeeded at.

One way or another, I was the first finisher of the OMG Burger. Even if I don't have $500 to show for it.

Now let me rest for awhile.