One Fair Day

Last Wednesday, I decided I needed to go back to the OC Fair in Costa Mesa.

The Fair isn't really my favorite place to go. It's crowded, everything's expensive, and all of the food on hand seems to be covered in floury batter and deep-fried.

You can get it all deep-fried: frog legs, bacon, chocolate candy bars, turkey drumsticks, ice cream, avocado, and, oh yes.... butter. Thats right, deep-fried butter. I guess you can never take in too much saturated fat!

So if this place made me feel so.... out-of-place, why was I here?

Revenge. That's right. Sweet, sweet revenge.

Last year, at the OC Fair 2009, the Mexican Funnel Cake Stand offered up an incredible eating challenge: if you could devour a huge plate of their funnel cake in 20 minutes or less, they would give you your money back. It was a unique challenge, given the fact that most of the time I'm attempting mammoth burgers, oversized burritos, or exaggerated sushi rolls.

Unfortunately, I couldn't do pull it off....  That didn't really sit well with me, especially since I rarely fail an eating challenge. I decided I needed redemption.

I thought things were looking easy when I strolled to the Fair last week. The time limit for the challenge had been raised to thirty minutes, and I was told that no one had yet completed the challenge during the Fair's stay in Orange County. This could be a moment of glory!

Things didn't look so rosy when the massive dessert plate emerged from the concession stand. Designed to feed six, this Jumbo Mexican Funnel Cake (estimated at 5 lbs) looked even bigger than last year's! It looked like it was stacked much higher, with more whipped cream and strawberries than before. The carnival attendant told me that there's really no set size, it's just up to the creativity of the preparers in the back.

This was not going to be a cakewalk after all.

Challengers must stand at a separate table before the passersby, who might see the festivities and decide to cheer,  wretch in disgust, or try the challenge themselves.

I started with aggression, determined to get through the sugary pile before me. Mexican funnel cake is really just churros, and as my experience reminds me, it's not the easiest food to eat quickly. It was crunchy on the outside, doughy on the inside, incredibly sweet, and greasy as heck.

I relied upon a three-plate strategy, unpacking the churro mountain into workable chunks among the three plates. I used the whipped cream and strawberries to create a varied experience, but for the most part the taste of cinnamon and flour was overpowering.

Lots of chewing, lots of water to help get it down.... I actually found a decent strategy of squeezing the grease out of the dough (they held a lot - I could see large puddles forming on the bottom of one plate), then soaking the dried churro paste with water. It was like eating cereal.

 
At the 26 minute mark, the attendant called a victory and told me to stop eating.... she said she didn't want to see me physically finish the entire plate. I guess it's kind of gross to see someone eat all that grease and sugar. I felt incredibly wired from the 20 minute mark, but I kept pressing because I had to get this thing.

I achieved a small measure of glory, becoming the first person at the 2010 Orange County Fair to successfully devour the 5 lb Jumbo Mexican Funnel Cake.

Having $19.50 back in my pocket wasn't so bad either!