The Unthinkable

One evening after "Rocking the Tot," it was off to Las Vegas to support a friend in the 2011 Nathan's Famous Hot Dog Eat Qualifier. There was no spot for me in the event, so I needed to find my own entertainment. It was Friday night and everyone was out in the streets.

My legs carried me to Cabo Wabo Cantina, home of an infamous 8 lb nacho challenge platter.

The "I Can't Drive 55" Nacho Challenge. You get 55 minutes to complete this task, or you're gonna get a bill for $55. The cantina is closely connected to Sammy Hagar. References and photos of him were everywhere.

The server brought my dish out and wished my luck. From the tone of her voice, I could infer she thought there is no way in Hell this guy is gonna finish. No matter. I attacked the platter with my fork, but it seemed like the pile was never-ending.

For the ultimate nacho fan, this challenge has everything. Steak, chicken, refried beans, shrimp, ground beef, sour cream, guacamole, shredded cheese, salsa, lettuce, and a bed of crispy chips.

After eating for 15 minutes, I realized I needed to pick up the pace. I requested a spoon and began shoveling spoonful after spoonful in. Not much chewing, but a lot of swallowing.

The pile would not die. Looking back, the toughest element of this challenge was all the chips. They never really went soft. Lots of chewing required. I got some down using water. It's too bad you only get 55 minutes, because there is a vast array of good-tasting food here. It's also difficult to appreciate the scenery.

Around 45 minutes things got very tough. Any sensation of hunger was long gone, my mouth was dry, and the nachos tasted like something else entirely. My body didn't want me to take another bite. My mind had other ideas. I pushed hard. Comparing this challenge to 7-8 lb burritos I'd done previously, I concluded this challenge was way bigger than advertised. This might have been 10 lbs of nachos.

The finish line came at 52 minutes. I needed to fight against the gag reflex several times toward the end. I guess it was too much too fast! The server was thunderstruck to see that I was done.

What happened next still throws me. Literally every single member of the staff - from the greeter at the door, to the chef, to the manager - came up to congratulate me and shake my hand. Gripped with fullness, I couldn't make much sense of the proceedings.

Then the revelations came. This was a 4-person eating challenge. And up til that night, not even a 4-person team had come close to completing it. In their minds, what I had done was unfathomable. Ludicrous.

All I can say is that someone needs to update eatfeats! Had I known this was a team thing, I would have brought some friends.

It was over. Nachos that night, and Nathan's in the morning! Time to cheer my friend on!